


Evolution

by humble_beginnings



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Exhibitionism, Exhibitionist Bucky, F/M, Girlfriend Sharing, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multi, Pet Names, Polyamory, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Winter Solider Bucky, Sex, Steve and Bucky want to fuck they just won't admit it, Teabagging, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, Voyeur steve, Voyeurism, no y/n
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-09-22 18:43:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 44,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9620621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humble_beginnings/pseuds/humble_beginnings
Summary: Bucky and reader live together in an apartment with Steve, your relationship is developing into more than an intimate couple. I've avoided using 'y/n' for the reader (personal preference, I find it jarring) so have opted for pet names instead.





	1. Evolution

When you first met Steve and Bucky you assumed – as most people did – that they were a couple, so when the beautiful metal-armed man you’d been lusting after for months first kissed you it was quite a surprise.  
“Steve and I are just buddies. We have been all our lives and we went through some horrific times together, but it’s nothing more than that,” he assured you. When you started dating you soon realised their relationship ran deeper than anything they’d ever have with a woman, that they each had needs no one else could possibly meet. Once you accepted that you quickly fell in love with Bucky and moved in to their apartment, the three of you falling into an easy routine.

Steve never felt that you were encroaching on his time with Bucky or stealing his best friend because they were together most of the day and on missions. Snuggling up with the two of them to watch a movie, cooking dinner for the three of you rather than anything intimate for two, became a comfortable norm. On the odd occasion that Steve was away, or worse when they both were, it felt as though part of you was missing.

Quiet sex wasn’t something you’d ever been good at and Bucky was always determined to draw the loudest possible moans from you when he wasn’t making his own share of the noise. One night when you had to dash to the bathroom you got your first glimpse of Steve’s naked body, spread on top of the covers with his door open and cock in hand, and couldn’t help but wonder if he might have been turned on by the sounds from the other room. From that night you didn’t feel bad about the volume of your lovemaking and you stopped holding back, even making a little more deliberate noise when you knew Steve was still awake.

A few weeks later you looked up mid-coitus to find the door ajar, not the first time the old building and it’s crooked doors had failed to latch latch properly, but it was the first time you caught Steve peeking in from the shadow of the hall. Without mentioning it to Bucky you carried on and neither of you got up to close the door. From that night you stopped closing the door all the way, always leaving an inch or two gap.

Although Bucky was adamant that Steve was straight, having had his share of women in the initial post-serum days and a short affair with the infamous Peggy Carter, you always wondered whether he was paying more attention to you or Bucky when he watched. Was it both, the act itself, or one of you in particular? Did he secretly want to join in or was it just that he wanted something to get him going? You never mentioned it to Bucky but assumed that he knew given he never brought it up either. Eventually the bedroom doors just stayed open, as did the bathroom when one of you was showering.

When you made out on the couch the first few times Steve carried on watching television until you got to heavy petting, then he’d disappear to his bedroom with some quip about you two having a bedroom to go to, but you got the distinct impression he didn’t mind and he made less and less effort to hide his erections as time went on.

Which brings you to this evening where you’ve lost all interest in what’s on the box and turned instead to Bucky, kissing him slowly and passionately before running your tongue over the stubble on his jaw and tugging on the neck of his red henley until it slides off. Your delicate hands run over his shoulders and chest, teasing his nipples to hard pebbles before you take one in your mouth and swirl around it with your tongue. He threads his fingers into your hair and hisses through his teeth as you suck it harder and bite gently, his metal fingers stroking your shoulder.

From the corner of your eye Steve shifts and you assume he’s going to his room but you’re pleasantly surprised when he stays and continues watching the tv. You find yourself emboldened by his behaviour and straddle Bucky’s lap, discarding your blouse over the back of the couch and kissing his mouth hungrily. Beneath your skirt you can feel the bulge of his jeans grind through your panties against your sex, moisture coating your folds. A moan louder than you intend escapes your lips and you bury your face in his neck to cover your blush, kissing his collarbone and licking at his neck.  
“Fucking hell, doll,” Bucky breathes, cupping your ass with both hands and moving you over his cock. “Maybe we should take this to the bedroom?”  
You look over to Steve, who is pretending to watch the tv but barely hiding an erection with both hands in his lap. “Or maybe we stay right here,” you whisper in his ear, nibbling at it for good measure.  
“What are you up to?” he asks as you kiss your way down his body, kneeling between his spread thighs and unbuckling his belt. The sound sends tingles up your spine as the metal of the buckle clinks together and as you nuzzle against his erection the leather mixes with his musky scent to send tingles everywhere else.  
“Just this,” you say, fishing his cock out and licking your lips before looking at Steve. He looks away with a blush so warm his cheeks are almost as bright as the tv, wriggling in his seat and clearing his throat. You reach out and put a hand lightly on his knee. “Steve, you don’t have to be shy. You’re a man, and watching another man get a blow job is pretty hot.”  
“Yeah, but…” he trails off as you take Bucky in your mouth and lick up the underside of his head, releasing him with a pop. “You don’t mind?”  
Bucky reaches over and grabs Steve’s shoulder, his fingers digging into the muscle as you circle his tip with your tongue. “Buddy, if it helps I reckon she’s getting off on the idea of you watching. And before you ask, no. No, I don’t mind either. Screw it, we share everything else.”  
For so long Steve has felt like all people see is Captain America, rather than Steve Rogers the man. The human being, the red blooded male who has needs of his own and isn’t a saint. Having you acknowledge that he not only has desires but one of those desires is watching his best friend fuck his girlfriend is as freeing as it is provocative.

Your head bobs slowly up and down in Bucky’s lap, his hand gripping your hair and his tongue darting out to wet his lips in between breathy moans. You glance occasionally at Steve, watching you intently while palming his sizeable bulge through his shorts. Going down on Bucky has long been one of your favourite activities but to do it while Steve watches has your panties soaked and your face flushed with arousal.  
“Mmm,” Bucky says as he pulls you back and up. “Get that gorgeous mouth back up here and ride my dick.” It’s obvious he’s putting on a show for Steve, and it’s hot as hell. He lifts you to your feet and pushes your skirt and panties down and off, standing to do the same with his jeans while you discard your bra on the floor. You sink down on Bucky’s cock, his girth still stretching you deliciously after all this time, and kiss him open-mouthed, your tongues gliding together in time with the thrusts of your hips. Beside you Steve has pushed down his shorts so his length lies against his stomach and he strokes it with a loose fist, watching you with flushed cheeks.

The cool metal of Bucky’s hand snakes down between you while the other explores your body, kneading at your breasts and guiding your hips. You cry out when he finds your swollen clit, rubbing at it against your movements until he feels you begin to shudder.  
“Come for me, doll,” he whispers as you moan into his hair. With a series of whimpers your walls clamp down on him, your body shuddering as he pushes you through with circles around your bud. “That’s my girl.”  
“Oh, god,” Steve says breathily, biting his lip when he realises he was heard. Bucky pats the couch cushion beside him and he closes the distance, his skin now touching both yours and Bucky’s and his shorts and shirt discarded on the floor so that all three of you are naked. You reach a hand out and wait for Bucky’s nod before ghosting your fingers down Steve’s smooth chest, his muscles rippling under his skin as he flinches slightly. Two pairs of blue eyes watch intently as you start to move again on Bucky’s cock while exploring Steve’s upper body, lightly tweaking his hard nipples while he tightens his fist around his cock and fondles his balls.  
“That’s so fucking hot, doll,” Bucky whispers into your neck.  
“You like sharing me, huh?”  
“I could come around to the idea.”  
Your thrusts grow faster as you feel the tension coiling in your belly like a snake preparing to strike, Bucky’s strong hands lifting your ass up and pulling it back down against him with breathy grunts. His head falls back and you nip and his jaw and neck as another orgasm sends you into a torrent of spasms and panting breaths, your tightening walls tipping Bucky over the edge and milking his warm cum into you.

Your lips crash together, kissing sloppily as you both recover. His breath fills your lungs, his forehead resting on yours while he draws deep breaths with his mouth just a hair away from yours. Steve grunts beside you, his head back and eyes closed as he pumps his fist over his shaft. Bucky looks from you to Steve and back again, kissing you soundly before releasing your face from his grip.  
“You wanna help him out? Give him your special treatment?”  
You nod and slide off Bucky’s lap back to the floor, kneeling in front of Steve. His eyes widen as you push his legs apart and nuzzle at his balls, licking firmly up the crinkled seam between them and taking his cock from his grasp to close your own fist around it.  
“S'ok, Stevie,” Bucky says, slapping a hand on Steve’s thigh.

Steve’s balls are smooth and ridiculously sensitive, you don’t dare suck them between your teeth and risk a bit of pressure like you do with Bucky. Instead you keep your hand firm and rhythmic on his shaft and lick and suck at them, let them rest in on your tongue and close your lips around the tight skin above.  
Bucky slips a hand into your hair and Steve grips the soldier’s meaty thigh, his fingers digging hard into the muscle.  
“Oh, god… oh… shit… oh, god,” Steve chants and you feel his balls draw up, his cock pulsating in your hand as he paints his own stomach with ropes of thick white cum.

You rest your head on Steve’s thigh while Bucky starts the shower, squealing when he returns to scoop you up in his arms. Steve laughs but you see the uncertainty in his eyes, the worry about what happens next and the awkwardness of his best buddy’s girlfriend sucking his balls while she jerked him off right in front of a naked Bucky. At the last minute Bucky turns and calls back down the hall.  
“Stevie, you comin’?”


	2. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Thank you so so so much for the comments on the last chapter, I was not at all expecting such an amazing response! Because of that I have fast-tracked chapter 2 xxx

The dynamic in your apartment has shifted so slightly an outsider wouldn't notice but so greatly to the three of you that it's akin to a new relationship in its honeymoon period. Although you've had a comfortable and close relationship with Steve up until now there's never been anything physical between you, nor between Steve and Bucky that you know of. Now there are frequent touches and you've noticed they are more affectionate with you whenever the opportunity presents itself. Steve still hesitates and holds back, unsure where he might fit in or how long this new arrangement will last.

When you next catch him peeking in the door with a hand on his cock Bucky wastes no time inviting him into the bed where you're both already naked. You roll to face him while Bucky kisses up and down your spine, tracing the contours of his chest and abs. His bright blue eyes are uncertain as he strokes your cheek, leaning in so your noses graze together before meeting you lips in a soft kiss.   
“That is so beautiful,” Bucky says over your shoulder. “My two favourite people kissing.”  
You both smile and kiss again, this time his tongue licks gently at the seam until you open for it to glide against yours, your hand pulling him in from behind his neck and scratching at the short hair on his nape. His erection twitches against your thigh while Bucky's hands roam your body, kneading at your flesh and ghosting over your smooth skin. Steve's touch is gentle and tentative, the perfect balance to Bucky's familiar firm hands.

Steve hesitates as you push him onto his back, looking to Bucky for permission and getting a reassuring nod in return as you kiss down his smooth neck and carve a line down his chest. You taste the skin of Steve's shoulders and torso, making your way down toward his cock while Bucky watches, loosely stroking his cock. You lick the bead of precum from the tip of Steve and take the head between your lips, sucking gently while your tongue traces the underside.  
“Oh god, sugar...”  
You watch as Bucky cups Steve's cheek and turns his head so their faces almost touch. “She's good, huh? You been sucked off before?” he asks in a whisper.   
Steve shakes his head slowly, his eyes falling closed as you take him further into your mouth. Bucky seizes the opportunity to catch him off guard, touching his lips onto Steve's gently and pausing to savour the moment, waiting for a reaction. You groan and hum around his shaft as the two men's lips move together and turn the kiss open-mouthed, the occasional flash of a tongue making butterflies dance in the pit of your stomach.   
“She likes to be told she's a good girl, don't you doll?” Bucky says, turning his face toward you.   
“Mm hm.”  
“So good... you are so good, sweetheart.”  
“Yeah,” Bucky says. “Just like that. She likes her hair played with, too. You can even tug it a little bit.”  
Steve's hand tangles in your hair, pulling back on it gently until you moan around his cock, stroking his balls with your fingertips. You back off when he starts to pant and thrust into your mouth, sucking tiny kisses back up to his jaw where Bucky steals a passionate kiss.   
“Lie back, doll,” he says into your ear. You comply quickly and lie on your back between them, looking from one to the other.   
  
  


Propping up on one elbow, Steve begins exploring your skin with his fingertips, watching you intently as he drags over your chest, making your stomach suck in when he reaches your belly button. He grazes your hardened nipple with a flat palm before taking your breast in his hand and massaging, squeezing the globe with long fingers. You breathe in sharply when he rolls your nipple between his finger and thumb, always gentle and looking upon you with a wondrous light in his eyes.   
Bucky's flesh hand draws up from your knee to hip and back again, returning a second time up the inside of your thigh to open your legs. You moan and buck your hips when he dips into your heat, swirling your juices around and over your clit as Steve takes a nipple into his warm mouth and sucks lightly. Two fingers rub on your g-spot while his thumb circles your clit, the best combination Bucky knows for a hard and fast climax.

As your moans grow louder you reach down for Bucky's cock and find Steve already moving over it with a loose fist, the sight when you look down almost enough to tip you right over the edge.   
“Yeah, Stevie,” he hisses. “That feels so good.”  
Having wondered for so long if they were attracted to each other or simply close friends as they so adamantly stated, watching Steve and Bucky so openly acting on sexual desires toward each other is as heartwarming as it is arousing. For a few moments you raise your head to rest on your arm and watch mesmerised, your climax building steadily under Bucky's fingering.

“Come on, doll,” Bucky growls through his teeth. “Come for me.”  
Your hips rut against his hand and Steve sucks harder at your breast until you clamp down on Bucky's fingers with an echoing moan.   
“So hot when you come, baby,” Steve says, shifting to kiss your lips while you catch your breath.

You watch Steve grow more confident, rolling to his back and pulling you on top. Straddling his hips you roll over him and coat his shaft thoroughly in your juices before notching him inside and sinking down his length, your muscles still firing off spasms around his girth. You lean over and kiss him before straightening and pushing him deeper and Bucky lies down beside him so you can take his cock in your free hand. You watch them turn and share a smile, an amused grin on your face as they kiss deeply.  
“Watching you two make out is the hottest thing I've ever seen,” you say as you squeeze Bucky's shaft gently and rock your hips against Steve. His size pushes the limits of your walls, stretching and filling you as you take him to the hilt. Bucky reaches out and runs his metal hand up your thigh, the cold giving you goosebumps and shivers as it travels over your mound and finds your clit. At first he just holds it there for you to rub against as you grind your hips over Steve but when your moans increase and your hand tightens on his cock he thrums against the sensitive bud.  
“Oh god,” you cry out as Steve's hands grip your hips, guiding your pace.  
“Come on me, baby girl. I wanna feel you clench around me,” Steve says, his face contorted in pleasure as his blue eyes watch you move. His deep groan is your undoing and you fall forward onto his chest as an incredible orgasm washes over you, spilling your juices onto his balls while he holds you tight and strokes your back. “That is so beautiful,” he whispers.  
“Switch?” Bucky says as he kisses your shoulder.  
“Nah, I'm good thanks,” Steve quips.  
“Stop hogging, punk.”  
Steve laughs and releases you to lie down while Bucky pounces to cage you in with his arms and legs. “That was so fucking hot I nearly came in your hand. I'm not gonna last long, doll.”

Bucky kisses you hard, mashing your mouths together as he fills you in one push and tears a moan from your throat. After a couple of minutes thrusting slowly in and out he sits back on his heels and lifts your hips onto his thighs. You reach out for Steve and bring his glistening cock to your mouth, sucking your creamy essence off his length as you take him as deep as you can. He moans and makes shallow thrusts between your lips and you spend a few moments appreciating the atmosphere, paying attention to their individual scents as they each touch your senses and weave together with yours to make the heady arousal that fills the air; Steve watching your every movement in disbelief, wondering when this will end and he'll have to go back to satisfying his own urges while sneaking glances and peaks at Bucky and you; Bucky's complete surrender to Steve's touch

The crescendo builds until finally Bucky explodes inside you with a feral grunt, forcing your legs wide and filling you with warm cum. Steve pulls out of your mouth and stops to watch Bucky's face as the euphoria washes over him, resuming with his hand while you both try to catch your breath. When he pulls out of you Bucky kneels behind Steve and takes his cock in hand, kissing the back of his neck and shoulders. “Come on her tits, she loves that,” he says into his ear.  
“Really?” Steve asks you with a cocked eyebrow.  
“Yeah,” you reply.

You watch them in utter fascination as Steve's hands scratch gently at Bucky's thighs, Bucky leaving kisses all over Steve's back while he jerks his cock, Steve's head falling back onto Bucky's shoulder as his abs begin to spasm.  
Long threads of cum paint your breasts as he reaches his climax, Bucky's firm hand drawing more and more onto your chest until Steve collapses down spent and panting.

As they take turns cleaning you up with a washcloth you reflect on how right this all feels. Sure there have been times you've fantasised about the two of them, but this is more than fulfilling a fantasy. Steve and Bucky have accepted that their mutual feelings run far beyond close friends, that their love is deeper than anything platonic. Initially you worried that perhaps now they'd admitted their feelings they wouldn't need you, but now you're seeing that they love you as much as each other and come to realise that three might not always be a crowd.

When you wake up the following morning Bucky's arm is protectively draped over your waist as always, his warm breath comforting on the back of your neck. Your eyes snap open when you realise your head is resting on another firm chest, its rise and fall almost in time with Bucky's.  
 _Sandwiched between two super-soldiers. Naked. Things could most certainly be worse._  
Steve stirs and looks down at you with a start.   
“Good morning,” you whisper.  
“Good morning,” he says, shifting an arm above his head and tugging the sheet over you. “Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep.”  
Bucky kisses your shoulder and props up on one elbow. “We need a bigger bed.”  
“Maybe,” you agree, looking back at Steve.  
“I'm happy sleeping in mine, I just feel asleep by accident.”  
“Is this what you want, Stevie? The three of us together all the time? Or do you want to be a guest star?”  
Steve fails miserably at biting back a laugh, his face turning beetroot red. “Well you two are a couple.”  
“So are you two,” you say. “You just don't say it out loud.”  
“I... I'd like us to be,” Bucky says as he reaches over for Steve's hand. “I don't know how we work this out, but if you're up for it – “  
“I am,” Steve says. “You know how I feel about you, right?” he says to you.  
“Yeah, I always have. Deep down.”  
“Who says we can't all be in love, then? And share a bed as well as everything else?”  
Steve still looks uncertain, biting his lip and looking down at his fidgeting hands. “How would we... what would people...”  
“Steve,” you lay a hand on his chest. “People are more accepting than they used to be. Anyone who can't mind their own business can kiss my – “  
“Ok I get it,” he says, silencing you with a finger and chuckling to himself.   
“Is that the only thing that bothers you?” Bucky asks.  
“Yes,” Steve says quietly. “I really... I love you. Both of you. I buried it because you were Bucky's girl and I'm not supposed to feel that way about Bucky, either. But I do. Since we've lived together it just feels like this is how its supposed to be.”  
“Hold on to that feeling then, ignore the rest. I'm going to get ready for work but you two should stay there and get comfortable.”

You return to find them still in bed and making out. Bucky's lips are fused to Steve's and you can see the movement of their jaws as their tongues move together, his hand laid gently on Steve's ribs while Steve cups Bucky's face and combs his fingers through his long hair. You stay silent for a few seconds and watch, appreciating their intimate actions. When Steve opens his eyes and looks up he breaks the kiss and flushes pink.  
“You said get comfortable.”  
“I did, and if I didn't have to get to work I'd be back in there with you. Since I do, enjoy.”  
You kiss them both goodbye and sing to yourself on the walk to work, imagining what sort of state they might be in when you come back in the evening.

 


	3. Innovation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord I think I've created a monster, these guys are on my mind day and night at the moment. I am determined to keep this light and fun and give Bucky, Steve, and reader the heartwarming story they deserve. With a supersized dose of smut, of course.

After a hellish day at work you can't wait to get home to your boys, they always lift your spirits when you're not feeling the best. As a social worker in a large hospital some days its almost impossible not to be affected by the families you deal with and this was one of those days. You often see a patient once or twice and then never again once they're referred on to other services, which is as much a blessing as it is a curse – most of the time you never find out what happened unless they are referred back to you on a repeat hospital stay.

Steve and Bucky both seem to sense your mood as soon as you open the door, Bucky taking your coat while Steve hangs your bag and keys and pours you a glass of wine. It's only at the bottom of the glass you realise the two of them are looking very coy about something and they both leap to their feet when you stand up.  
“What's up with you two?”  
“Nothing... we just um...” Steve looks desperately at Bucky.  
“We did something.”  
“Did you have sex without me?”  
“No! Nothing like that,” Steve says with a hot blush. “We bought a new bed. It's in your room.”  
“Well it's our room now.”

You take the few steps down the hall to the bedroom and are surprised to find it's already assembled and has new sheets and a duvet. You wouldn't have thought the boys had it in them and feel kind of proud that they thought about the details. When you sit down on the edge you realise the covers are rumpled, like it's already been slept in. They both had training this morning so the bed can't have been here long enough for a nap...  
“We gave it a little test run.” Steve looks like he's waiting outside the principal's office. “We were just kissing and stuff, you didn't miss anything.”  
“It's _really_ comfy,” Bucky gushes as he falls back onto the bed, shaking it beneath you.   
You can't help but laugh. “Ok, here's the deal. Remember we agreed this was as much about couples as it was about the three of us? Bucky are you going to be hurt if I have sex with Steve while you're not here?”  
“That depends,” he says, puffing his chest. “Are you gonna fuck me sometimes too?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then it's fine, you guys should get some time alone.”  
“Exactly. And so should you two. If you want to mess around without me you don't have to be ashamed or think I'll be mad. God damn if you let me watch you can do it every day.”  
“Really?” Steve blushes again, his voice has just reached an octave he didn't know existed.  
You stand and cross the room to rake your fingers down the back of his neck, grazing his lips with yours before you speak. “God, yes. Really.” As your tongues dance against each other you can feel Bucky's eyes on you and when you break the kiss you find him licking his lips.   
“Anyone else hungry?”

On more than one occasion over dinner you catch them smiling at each other or exchanging glances and the longer you think about it the more you're turned on by the idea of just watching them explore each other. When you inevitably return to the bedroom after cleaning up you let them in on your thoughts, sitting and leaning against the headboard while they strip down to their shorts.   
“Baby girl wants a show,” Steve says, pulling Bucky by the wrist onto the middle of the bed, moving over the mattress on his knees.  
“Best we don't disappoint, then.” Bucky winks in your direction and takes Steve's face in both hands, kissing him without hesitation. Their eyes close as their mouths open wider to admit the other's tongue, hands roaming necks and shoulders while their muscular bodies press together.

When the kiss is broken Steve carries on kissing down Bucky's stubbled neck, over his broad shoulders, making a path down the centre of his chest. Bucky watches with hooded eyes, carding his fingers through Steve's short hair and occasionally looking to you when you shift on the bed or absent-mindedly graze your own breasts.   
He moans as Steve takes a hardened nipple between his lips, swirling his tongue over it and sucking it into his mouth. “Use your teeth, Stevie. Ahhh, yeah. Just like that.”  
A whimper escapes your parted lips and draws their attention, where they find you peeling off your t-shirt and revealing a lace bra.   
“You want to join, sweetheart?” Steve asks.  
You shake your head. “Not yet. Carry on.”   
Neither of them appear disappointed. Steve sits back on his heels and continues nipping and sucking at Bucky's chest and abs, ignoring the very obvious erection as it brushes his torso for now.

You can't ignore your own arousal any longer and pinch gently at your nipples while you watch Bucky try desperately not to rock his hips forward and grind his cock against Steve's chest. If it were you he would push your heavy breasts around it and drive on through but he treads lighter with Steve, using instead a soft touch and encouraging words, lingering kisses and tender, massaging hands. He's rewarded by Steve lowering himself to nuzzle against his shorts, kissing Bucky's shaft and balls through the thin fabric of his boxer briefs.   
“Oh god, Steve,” Bucky moans. “That is so good. You are so good.”  
You watch with a smile as Steve lights up with Bucky's praise, rubbing gently back and forth with his hand before hooking two fingers into the sides of the waistband to tug them down and off.

Bucky's veined cock springs up against his abs and Steve fists it loosely while nudging with his face at his balls. When Bucky moans you can't take any more, quietly shuffling out of your shorts and panties and sliding your bra off to discard it in the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Parting your legs you let one finger dip between your folds, immediately finding it covered in a creamy slick of your arousal. Spreading it upward you rub lazily over your clit, feeling it swell beneath your finger as your heart races in your ears.

A hitched breath brings your attention back to the boys, where Steve is licking at the head of Bucky's cock, savouring the precum on his tongue. They gaze fondly at each other as Steve takes the shaft into his mouth, curling his tongue around it and sucking gently back and forth. You feel honoured and privileged to witness something so intimate, forgetting about your own pleasure while watching their deepest desires fulfilled. How long have they wanted this? How long have they denied their own feelings in fear of judgement, forcing them down and burying them deep lest someone find out that they are in love?  
“I love having you look at me and suck me off,” Bucky hisses, pushing Steve's hair back with his flesh hand. His moans build steadily before he pulls back and sits on his heels so the two men are the same height, pulling Steve by the back of the neck into a kiss that makes your pussy clench around your own fingers. “I love you, you're amazing,” he whispers, holding their foreheads together.

“Come here, doll,” Bucky says, reaching a hand out to you. He kisses you and then brings his lips to your ear. “Stevie wants to see a little anal action, that cool with you?”  
“How little?” you ask, hoping he doesn't plan on anything more than you've already done. You discovered quite early on that Bucky likes to play with your ass, and that he will turn to jelly if you return the favour. Fingers only, though. You'd never explored further, mostly because you both were so turned on by it you were eager to get to fucking.  
“Just a finger or two.”  
“Mmm, yes please.”  
“Told you,” he says to Steve while you spread out face down on the bed.

You wait until Bucky has retrieved the lube from the drawer to raise up on your knees, your round ass pointing in his direction. He dives forward and devours your pussy for an intense few seconds before pulling back, smacking his lips obscenely. Two fingers slip easily into your cunt and you arch your back to make him rub against your g-spot, moaning at his scissoring inside you. The gentle rock of the bed alerts you to Steve moving closer and you feel two strong hands kneading your cheeks, pushing them tight together and separating them with a low groan.

Bucky flips to the top off the lube while Steve parts your cheeks and you feel the cool dribble of it down the crevice between, a third finger swirling it around your puckered hole. He puts light pressure against you and after a few seconds you rock back into him, signalling your readiness. They both moan appreciatively as he pushes beyond the ring of muscle and you grip his finger, pulling him deeper until the sweet friction of his knuckle makes you whimper. He stills for a moment and you wonder what's happening when you feel Steve move again. Steve lies beside you and then shuffles so he's beneath you on his back, stroking at your smooth skin and rolling your nipples between fingers and thumbs when Bucky starts to thrust his fingers in and out.

“Bucky,” you moan. “Don't stop.”  
“Wasn't planning on it, doll,” he says, taking one of Steve's hands and pressing his fingers against your clit..   
Steve takes a straining nipple into his mouth, teasing it gently with his teeth as your moans gradually increase to shuddering screams.  
“Come for us, baby girl,” Steve says against your breast, switching to the other side.  
As if you had a choice.  
White light explodes before your eyes and the tightening spreads from your abdomen through your cunt in waves, clamping down and releasing Bucky's fingers in ripples of pleasure that slow as you come down the other side. Your body turns limp and collapses onto Steve who holds you against him while kissing your mouth, grinding his stiff cock against you in slow circles.

Your breath recovers and you look up to see Bucky sitting back against the headboard stroking himself and fondling his heavy sack.   
“Seeing as you're already in position,” he says, gesturing with an eyebrow at your hips.   
With an easy roll of your pelvis you take the tip of Steve's cock in your entrance and slide down to take his length in one motion, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy. Once you get into a rhythm you beckon Bucky toward you and kiss Steve hard before licking up Bucky's shaft and taking him in your mouth. Steve reaches a hand behind Bucky to knead his ass with a firm hand, occasionally brushing a finger up and down between his cheeks.

You quickly feel another orgasm building and know the boys aren't far behind, Steve reaching a hand between you and feathering it over your clit again with a proud smile. Keeping your body still you let Steve thrust up against you while you take Bucky in hand and continue sucking his tip, bobbing your head up and down the length and fluttering your tongue on the underside until his moans grow louder. Only then you notice that beneath you Steve is kissing and sucking at Bucky's balls and it tips you over the edge, seemingly setting off a chain reaction.

Your walls undulate hard and fast, making you shake and spasm and cover Steve in your essence. The contractions of your orgasm milk the seed from Steve deep inside you, both of you moaning and gasping for breath, the vibrations reverberating through Bucky from your lips. Just as you're both falling back to earth Bucky abruptly withdraws from your mouth and spurts warm cum all over Steve's chest and abs, the occasional drop hitting your breasts.

What follows is a tangled, sweaty mess of bodies and limbs glistening with the mixture of fluids that fill the air with the thick odour of sex. There are arguments about who should clean up, whether a shower would be easier, or if any one of you has functioning legs that might make it to the bathroom for a washcloth. Eventually you convince them both toward the shower by questioning their super-soldier status, wondering aloud why they have such stamina in other areas but can't clean themselves up for round two any faster than you can.

“There is no limit to your ability to cheer me up,” you say that night in bed as you lay between them. “Thank you.”  
“I love you,” Bucky says with a tender kiss on your cheek. “Both of you.”  
“Me too,” you both say in unison.   
“This is going to be the first weekend we've all had off together in months,” Steve says with a glint in his eye.  
You return his smile and chuckle. “You two better work on that recovery time, then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not thank you guys enough for the comments I've gotten on this. Taking the time to do it means so much to me and it's gotten me through a bumpy week. *hugs and kisses every one of you*


	4. Exploration

The first thing you do on Saturday morning is cuddle up on Bucky's chest and he instinctively wraps his arm around you, squeezing your body against his and kissing the top of your head. You only remember the change in sleeping arrangements when you hear Steve's soft snoring and open one eye to see him in a similar position on the other side, his neck resting on Bucky's outstretched metal arm.

All three of you having the weekend off together is a rare occurrence with your rotating on-call roster and the boys' missions. You close your eyes and start thinking about what you'll get up to, resigning yourself to indoor activities when you hear the patter of rain on the windows. Just as you're falling back asleep you hear whispering and Bucky's weight shifts a little beneath you, the soft sounds of wet lips awakening your curiosity. Your eyes squint open to see Steve and Bucky kissing, gentle and slow with their lips barely moving as they lock together and release. Remaining still and silent lest you interrupt the intimate moment you watch quietly as your heart swells and beats faster, knowing that the men you love are no longer afraid to share their affections almost brings tears to your eyes.

“Good morning, doll,” Bucky says against Steve's lips, turning his eyes toward you. Bucky pulls back to look down at you while Steve blushes and touches his lips.   
“You two are just the most beautiful thing, you have no idea. I really want to watch you in bed.”  
Steve chuckles nervously. “That... that might take some time.”  
“We'll go slow, Stevie,” Bucky says, stroking his cheek. “We'll work up to it. Both of us together.” He looks down at you with a raised eyebrow and waits for your nod. “All of us together.”  
Bucky and you have talked about anal sex openly and you wondered for some time if he had a hidden desire to fuck you with another man, but you'd never gone beyond a couple of fingers. Truthfully the sex was so amazing between the two of you it was difficult to imagine anal sex being any better so you'd never tried it out, but the idea of having both Bucky and Steve together just about has you reaching for the lube before breakfast.

Most of the day is passed re-watching the original Star Wars at Bucky's request, cuddled up together under your favourite feather quilt and fulfilling Steve's obsession with buttery microwave popcorn. He still watches the bag turn slowly inside the appliance with childlike wonder, breaking into a wide smile at the first explosion within, opening the bag too soon and burning the tips of his fingers, fascinated by the composition of the thick crinkly material.

Half way through Return of the Jedi the light stroke of Steve's fingers on your back grows in confidence, extending over the sliver of bare flesh between your sweatshirt and pants, inside the waist of your jeans and finishing with a gentle squeeze at the top of your neck. He nuzzles at your cheek until you turn and kiss him, his tongue swirling lazily around yours while his hand works its way beneath your sweatshirt.   
“Can I take this off?” he says, tugging at the hem.  
You nod and reach your arms above your head for him to quietly slip it off, lying back on your stomach. Having some alone time with Bucky has done wonders for Steve's confidence and the change in him is palpable – he's not so shy about asking for what he wants or stealing a kiss or touch when he feels the urge. His fingers still tremble a little when he unfastens the clasp of your bra and lets it fall to either side but the trail of his nails over your spine is deliberately light and makes goosebumps all over your body.

Your ears focus on the film but you let your head rest on your folded arms and your eyes fall closed as he draws shapes and patterns on the bare skin. A soft whimper spurs him on when his warm lips make contact at the base of your neck, working their way down with kisses and licks. He leans back for a few moments and runs his hand flat over the valley of your lower back, kissing it with wet lips.  
“I don't know what it is about that spot, that perfect curve, but I find it mesmerising. So so sexy,” he says, his lips so close they graze your spine with every word.   
Steve's gentle hands reach under you and lift your hips so he can unfasten your jeans and slide them off, leaving your cotton panties in place with a begrudging groan.  
“What?” you ask, batting your eyelashes.  
“Do you have to wear those?”  
“These?” You roll to your side and hook a finger into the side of your prized 'Captain America' underpants with the stars and stripes pattern on the back and the shield right over your mound. “But they're my favourite pair!”  
“Sweetheart,” he sighs, giving you a resigned smile. “Just turn back to your front, I'm not done.”  
Truth be told you bought them primarily because they'd get a rise out of the boys and they know you only wear them when they'll be seen.

Steve lays more wet kisses on your back while Bucky watches the film, oblivious to you both. He keeps you warm by covering you with the quilt and his hands wander over and between your legs, parting them to rub the side of his hand over the fabric as it gathers moisture while he nips at your shoulder blade. You bury your face in your elbow, muffling a whimper of pleasure – it's not so much that you don't want Bucky to hear as you don't want a repeat of the last time you interrupted his favourite of the original films, particularly when the Ewoks are on the screen.  
“You want me to touch you, baby girl?”  
“Ye-yes... please...” you beg as he tugs your panties off and flips you to your back. Steve claims your mouth in a searing kiss, his erection pressing against your hip, and you realise just how aroused you've become without him touching more than your back so far. You almost lose control when he kneads your breast, rolling the nipple between his finger and thumb before taking in in his mouth and flicking at it with his tongue. A gentle hand grazes over your skin, fingers dancing on every contour of soft flesh until they reach your mound.

Steve groans, his mouth right beside your ear so that his warm breath makes you shiver. “So wet,” he whispers. “Are you always?”  
“Not unless I'm turned on, but when I am... I guess so... Oh, god,” you moan as two fingers glide over your g-spot. “Right there.”  
“Here?” He presses on it once more, deliberate and without hesitation.  
“Yesssss.”  
Spreading your juices around your lips he finds your clit with his thumb, massaging the sensitive bud with your moisture. You buck your hips against him and pull his face down to you, kissing him hard to muffle your cries. He's so eager to feel you come undone that his fingers never falter and you almost scream into his mouth when your body stiffens and shakes, an orgasm slamming into you and leaving you breathless and limp in its wake.   
“Amazing,” he says with a smile, kissing you softly as you recover.   
  
  


You reach down to palm his erection but he takes your hand and laces your fingers together instead. “Not yet.” He shakes his head and props up on one elbow to look down on you sincerely. “Are you... um... I know you said you want us both at the same time. You're not worried it will hurt?”  
“If it does you'll stop, I trust you both. It hasn't hurt so far, so I don't expect it to if we take our time.” You look up at his wide eyes and the pieces click together. “Steve, are you scared it will hurt if you try it?”  
“I just want to enjoy it and not freak out.”  
“Be honest with yourself, how long have you wanted him?”  
He looks down and blushes, giving you all the answer you need. “Always.”   
“Then you'll enjoy it. If it doesn't feel right just say so, he wants this as much as you do.” You kiss his lips gently.  
He laughs and nuzzles your neck. “I love that you're so open and can talk about anything.”  
“You were raised in a different time. I was always able to discuss this stuff at home, at the dinner table even.”  
“Are you going to tell your family about us?”  
“Eventually. Even my very liberal parents might not be ready for this.”

You peel off his t-shirt and pull him down on top of you, his knee falls between your legs and his chest brushes your breasts as he drapes over you as smooth as a cashmere blanket. He barely gives you a tiny fraction of his weight but you can feel his strength when he moves, the glorious pressure on all of you at once. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling it softly before kissing you more passionately. When he pulls back he brushes a lock of hair from your cheek and smiles, his shimmering blue eyes staring into yours.   
“I love you, y'know. I need you to understand I'm not just in this for Bucky, I really am in love with you.”  
“I do,” you whisper, returning his smile. “And I love you, too. I always thought threesomes were all about sex, I had no idea you could actually have this kind of relationship.”  
“Imagine how much of a shock it was for me!” He laughs. “God, do you know how afraid I was that you'd catch me beating off to you guys and move out?”  
“No wonder your eyes looked like they'd pop out of your head the first time Bucky suggested I suck your balls.”  
“That was a whole new level of... I thought I was having one of those dreams and I was gonna wake up in a pool of cum.”  
You laugh loudly and Steve covers your mouth with his hand while stifling his own... and then you realise the room has fallen silent.   
“What did I miss?” Bucky says, making you both jump.   
“Well, there was an orgasm and a lot of making out, a bit of dirty talk, some fantasising about puddles of cum,” you joke. “Oh and Steve and I are in love.”  
“By the way, how long did you have feelings for my buddy and not tell me?”  
“Uh...” You twirl a few loose strands of hair around your finger. It's not something that hit you hard one day like a neon sign or a lightning bolt where you stared into an imaginary audience and said wistfully 'oh no, I'm in love with his best friend.' “How long did _you_ have feelings for him and not tell me?”  
“I don't know, it's just always been there. Since I got to know him I guess.”  
“Exactly. That's how it was.”  
Steve, who has been looking from one of you to the other with his mouth agape, rolls off and exposes your naked skin to the cool air.   
“Dude, you got her naked without me?”  
“The Ewoks were on,” you explain. “I begged.”  
“By the way, she was wearing these.” Steve feels around beside you and triumphantly holds up your Cap panties and Bucky shakes his head. “We talked about this, I thought you got rid of them.”  
“Nope. I got rid of the Iron Man ones, the rest are in regular rotation. The 'Super Soldiers' ones are my favourite but they're in the wash.”  
“Stevie, you wasted a perfect opportunity,” Bucky says, feigning exasperation.  
Steve frowns in confusion.  
“Next time rip them off. I promise if you shred them in the throes of passion she won't complain, right doll?”  
You don't bother with a verbal answer, the painfully hard bite on your lower lip is enough to get the point across.

Bucky sweeps you up into his arms, carrying you squealing over his shoulder to the bedroom , delivering a smack on your arse for good measure. You're giggling on the bed when he darts back out of the room and after a few seconds and raucous calamity down the hall returns with Steve in the same position.  
“Christ, you are so much heavier than you look,” he says while stripping down to his boxer shorts.  
“Maybe you're getting weaker in your old age,” Steve retorts.   
Bucky laughs and pushes Steve back on the bed, kissing him while working his pants down over his hips. You watch their mesmerising undulations for a few minutes, the way Bucky rests his entire weight on Steve without the fear of hurting him like he does with you, the angling of their hips so their erections are rubbing together with only thin layers of cotton between them, their hands gripping the other as though their lives depend on it.

Rummaging through the beside table drawer you pull out the lube before climbing back onto the bed. Steve and Bucky are almost exactly where you left them with the exception of their shorts – Bucky's have made it to the floor but Steve's are hanging from his foot. You move in and toss them to the floor, lying beside them and propping your head in your hand to admire their actions up close.

Bucky sits back and spreads Steve's legs, resting his length along his lover's and fisting them both together, making a groan rumble in Steve's throat while you move in and kiss his neck, rolling his nipples with your thumbs. He looks down at you and smiles, reaching behind your back for a bottle of lube and handing it to Bucky.  
“You sure?” you murmur behind his ear.   
“God... yes.” He looks up at Bucky, stretching a hand up to touch his chest. “Make love to me, Buck.”

You lie back on two pillows and Steve straddles your hips, his cock already leaking precum onto your stomach. Bucky hisses when you bend your knees up and part your legs, giving him full view of both of you spread eagerly. You close your hand around Steve's cock and watch his eyes roll back, feeling the warm dribble of excess lube as Bucky spreads it up and down his crack, massaging his hole with circular strokes. The metal hand holds his cheeks open while a flesh finger presses against the ring of muscle, Steve's breath coming in pants on your cheek as it inches inside.  
“Relax, baby,” you reassure him, raking your fingers over his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Breathe, ok?”  
He nods and kisses you deeper, his tongue swirling around yours as Bucky's index finger sinks inside his tight ass. Steve whimpers into your mouth and you feel him relax into you, gently rolling his hips and making Bucky purr.  
“You like that, don't you Stevie?” he says as he withdraws and slides it inside again.  
Steve moans heavily and rests his forehead on your shoulder, and Bucky adds more lube and a second finger, gliding them easily inside until his breath catches. You smooth the furrow in Steve's brow with your thumbs, kissing him softly as he whines.  
“Ok, baby?”  
“Yeah... oh, god... Bucky!” Steve lurches forward and crashes your lips together, his hips grinding against yours and mewls vibrating against your tongue. Bucky moves his fingers back and forth over and over on Steve's prostate while Steve cries out, scissoring his fingers to stretch him in readiness.   
  
  


“Touch yourself, baby girl,” Steve says, angling his hips up as Bucky continues fingering his hole. You wink and move your hand between your folds, spreading around the moisture that still clings to your puffy lips. Although you continue to pleasure yourself you're more interested in watching the boys together and as Steve starts to moan in pleasure at Bucky's invasion your excitement builds at the prospect of watching them have sex for the first time. He starts to push back onto Bucky's fingers and grunt beside your ear, his breath coming in heavy pants  
“Come for me, Stevie. You're gonna come without even touching your cock.”  
Steve rocks his hips hard and fast and you feel the dribble of fluid from his tip as he cries out and shudders against your body.  
“Yeah, baby,” Bucky says with a loud slap on Steve's ass.  
“Buck... Bucky, please...,” Steve says breathlessly. “I want... I need your dick inside me.”  
You shift from beneath him and sit up against the headboard so his head rests in your lap while Bucky shifts around beside you.  
“Stevie, I don't know if we should go that far just yet.” He runs a hand lovingly over Steve's spine while you comb your fingers through his hair. “I don't wanna hurt you.”  
“You won't. Please, Buck. We've waited so long already.”  
Bucky smiles and Steve rises to his knees only to be caught in a searing kiss. “Bend over, then.”

Steve returns to his former position on hands and knees in front of you, his hands either side of your knees as you stretch your legs forward. Bucky kneels behind him, covering both Steve and his shaft in more lube. Both of their faces share the same flushed and excited expression, their eyes wide and dark with anticipation and a hint of anxiety. Your hands rest on Steve's shoulders, soothing his tense muscles with light lines over his muscles, leaning in to kiss his plump lips when he lifts his head.   
“Relax, baby,” Bucky says as he teases Steve's pucker with his shaft.   
Steve blows the air from his lungs and hangs his head down between his arms and you see Bucky leaning in, pressing inside. Everything falls so silent you can hear the slick sound of the lube as he inches back and forth tiny amounts at a time so Steve can accommodate his girth, the catch of breath as he takes his lover inside for the first time. The scene is intimate and beautiful, arousing in every sense of the word, and finally Steve lifts his face and smiles when Bucky says “You're so good to me, Stevie. Taking my whole cock, my amazing man. I've wanted this for so long.”  
He stills and rubs his hands over Steve's strong back, recalling all the times he wanted to do just that and had to suppress his feelings, all the times he thought about Steve when he first discovered the joy of masturbation, and realises he doesn't ever have to hide it again. You see tears shining in Steve's eyes as he looks back at Bucky and then up at you, sweat beading on his forehead and his cheeks flushed a rosy pink.   
“God, Bucky... f-fuck me. Please fuck me.”  
You do your best to bite back a giggle but when you see Bucky doing the same it brings you undone. “Language,” you whisper.   
“Shut up,” Steve groans. Before he can retort further Bucky pulls back and starts to thrust slowly, rocking Steve's body forward toward you. For the first couple of minutes you watch in silent awe before parting your legs and rolling a nipple between your fingers, unable to resist any longer. From the first brush of your fingers on your clit you contract inside and your body shudders, you slide two fingers inside and butt your hand against the desperate bud, moaning along with both men.

Steve lowers himself to his elbows and beckons you closer, guiding your legs wider and parting your lips with his fingers to lick upward with his flat velvet tongue. Bucky's thrusts rock him forward and he eagerly devours your cunt, penetrating you with his tongue and fingers and fluttering over your bundle of nerves until your head spins. Clutching at his shoulders and neck you scream his name as he hooks into your g-spot and sucks hard on your clit, flinging you into a powerful orgasm that makes your thighs shake uncontrollably and your torso ripple with contractions.

Leaving you spent beneath him he rises back to his hands and Bucky's thrusts become more urgent, Steve's moans coming faster and louder. You slide beneath him and reach down to fist his cock, stroking in time with Bucky's thrusts until he holds his breath and paints your spasming stomach with gushes of warm cum. Behind him Bucky's face contorts in ecstasy as he cries out and empties inside Steve, leaning over to kiss his neck and shoulders as the last threads of seed spill deep into him.

You leave the boys to catch their breath and run the shower, recovering under the hot water where they join you a short time later, washing each other's bodies with tender hands. After towelling off and getting dressed you find the boys watching another movie on the couch and snuggle in between them, dozing on Steve's chest with Bucky's arms curled around you both, cocooned in their warmth.

 


	5. Capacity

You're getting ready for bed that evening when Bucky comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your bare shoulder.  
“God you're beautiful,” he whispers in your ear. “I can't wait to see you stuffed with both of our dicks.”  
“Just get right to the point there, Barnes,” you say with a laugh.  
“You were already thinking it.” He slaps your ass playfully and nips your neck. “I bet you're already soaked.”  
He's right, of course. With no retort you turn and move back toward the bed, not bothering with the pajamas you just retrieved from the wardrobe.  
“Why don't you come find out?”   
Bucky growls behind you as you crawl over the bed, suddenly gripping your hips and dragging you back to the edge, dipping a finger straight into your folds. “Yep. Dripping.” He nudges you forward and lies down beside you, his cock already standing proud and erect. “You were a bit neglected before but Steve and I are gonna make it up to you.”  
“Where is Steve?”  
“I dunno,” he says before raising his voice to a yell, “but if he doesn't get in here he's gonna miss out on the action!”  
“I'm here,” Steve says from the doorway. “Someone had to turn off the television and put the dishes away.”  
“Thanks, baby. You're the best,” you say with a wink as Bucky spreads you out on the bed.

Steve turns out the overhead light, leaving you in the dim glow of the bedside lamps and crossing the bed on his knees. Bucky leans in and kisses your mouth hungrily, his familiar hands roaming your body, teasing and kneading in random places. You feel the bed dip on the other side and Steve's gentle hands rub your ankles and feet, lifting your leg to kiss the arch of your foot and upward to your calf as you encourage them both with mewls and whimpers. As Bucky moves down one side and Steve works up the other you notice their hands and lips never leave your skin and yet after what feels like hours you're wiggling beneath them and ready to beg for their touch where you so desperately need it.

Finally Steve's mouth steps up the middle of your torso and he licks a spiral around one breast while palming the other, sucking your nipple between his moist lips and groaning his appreciation around the sizeable globe. Bucky nips gently at the soft flesh just below your navel, his metal fingertips drawing a cold line up the inside of your thigh. Soft lips leave pink love bites on your neck in a path to your mouth where you thread your fingers into Steve's hair and pull him into you, kissing him hard until he moans around your tongue. You're so involved in the kiss you don't feel Bucky shift to lie between your thighs until his hands are forcing your legs wide and he's filling his lungs with your arousal.

You're still breathless from Steve's kiss when Bucky presses his lips against your cunt, caressing it lightly with his mouth and tongue. Circles around your clit drive you wild and he slips two fingers inside, making you grind your hips against his face as your orgasm draws nearer, your moans muffled by Steve's neck as he nips at your shoulders. Steve moves lower and takes a mouthful of breast, fluttering over your nipple as Bucky starts to suck on your clit.  
“Harder,” you whisper, your fingers raking through Steve's hair to pull him toward you. He bites down and sucks until your nipple grazes his palate and pulls back to tug it roughly with his teeth.  
Your other hand holds Bucky's head and you roll your hips desperately against his face until you reach a quivering peak, quaking under his strong grip and whining as he continues to lick your overstimulated bud. With one last kiss he releases you with a satisfied grin, his mouth and chin shimmering with your essence.

There's no time to recover, Bucky shifts to your side and Steve positions himself between your thighs, leaning in so his lips brush your ear.  
“Ready for me, gorgeous?”  
You nod and he pushes into your warmth with a deep groan, your walls still twitching around his shaft. Bucky watches Steve make love to you, pressing his whole body against yours, weighing you into the mattress with every smooth undulation. Your focus remains on Steve, his bright blue eyes locked on to yours except when they fall closed and he kisses you passionately, until you feel Bucky's hand work between you and rub your clit, driving you toward another climax.   
“Come for me,” Steve growls as his thrusts harder, slapping his hips against your thighs.   
A guttural moan is torn from your throat when you come undone, your nails clawing at Steve's flank and holding him deep inside while your cunt contracts and grips his cock.

This time they give you a few minutes to recover, lying back on the pillow panting and wiping sweat from your face while their cocks strain for release.  
“The next part is up to you, doll,” Bucky says as he nuzzles your cheek. “If you want to try both of us we will, but there's no pressure.”  
Your insides flutter to life at the thought and you bite your bottom lip between your teeth. “Yeah, I want to.”  
Straddling Steve's thighs you stroke his cock with a loose fist and sink easily down his length with your pussy almost dripping in anticipation, moving up and down a few times while Bucky slathers lube onto his fingers and cock. Steve pulls you down, pressing your sensitive breasts against his pecs and devouring your mouth roughly while Bucky prepares you with two fingers and then moves into position.

You concentrate on relaxing to let him enter you, resting your head in Steve's neck while the tip of Bucky's cock slowly breaches your ring of muscle. He's already panting behind you having watched you come twice, his erection throbbing painfully as he refrains from pushing too roughly into your tight hole. Finally the last inch burns slowly inside and he stills, his hands stroking up and down your spine as he looks lovingly down on you.   
“That is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen,” he says, his voice gravelly and deep. “My amazing girl stuffed with two dicks. How does it feel?”  
“Perfect,” you croak back, overwhelmed with sensation.

They both take their time, sometimes alternating thrusts and then synchronising their movements. Having them both inside you verges on uncomfortably full but its even better than you could have imagined, their veins and textured crowns touching every sensitive point inside your most intimate places. You feel the high of orgasm without the physical signs, your body entrusted to your lovers while your mind is lost to the passion of their pleasured moans and ragged breaths. When Bucky wraps his flesh arm around and presses down on your bud you're overcome by a climax that leaves your body limp and spent with tears stinging your eyes, and he is first to release inside you with a series of feral grunts, closely followed by Steve spurting his hot seed into your womb.

That night you lie in Steve's arms with Bucky curled around his back, listening to their even breathing but unable to fall asleep. In the end you make a herbal tea and study the stars on an unusually clear night, trying not to worry about what might lie ahead. You always worried about the boys when they were away on a mission, always felt the absence of both equally, but now the depth of your feelings borders on frightening. You're almost certain that if anything happened or one of them changed their mind about your arrangement you couldn't go back to being a couple with either, it would always feel incomplete. Ordinarily you found it easy to discuss things like this with your mother but you still haven't brought up the change in your relationship.

Sneaking back into the bedroom you hear Steve whimpering in his sleep and slip back into his arms where he holds you painfully tight against him and buries his face in your hair.  
“Thank god. I was dreaming they took you,” he murmurs.  
“Who did?” you ask.  
“Hydra.”  
“I thought Hydra were defeated and done?”  
“You know all this stuff, the ops were preparing for.” His voice is thick and slurred, you wonder if he might still be dreaming.  
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”  
“Quit stuffing around, you'll wake her up. She doesn't need to be worrying about all this.”  
Suddenly herbal tea is nowhere near enough to put you to sleep.

You groan and pull the blankets over your head when Steve opens the curtains the following morning.   
“Come on, sleeping beauty. Don't you have work today?”  
“I'm calling in dead.”  
Every muscle in your body feels like you've run a marathon while carrying a truck tire in each arm and combined with the lack of sleep overnight it's going to take a gallon of coffee to get you moving.   
“Maybe we need to tickle her?” Bucky says from the doorway, a towel wrapped around his neck and hair dripping onto his naked body.   
“Don't. Not in the mood.”  
There's silence for a few seconds before they pounce, ripping the covers off and attacking your ribs and neck with light fingertips. They ignore your screams of protest, yelled profanities and threats to their manhood, not letting up until you leap off the bed and stand up.  
“She's up!” Steve says triumphantly.  
“She's mad,” Bucky says, trying to hide a smirk while pulling on his black pants and tugging a shirt over his head.   
You grumble a few more profanities and yawn, slipping on Steve's t-shirt.  
“This might be a good time to make our exit.” Steve kisses you tenderly and hugs you tight. “Love you. See you tonight.”  
“Love you too. Stay safe, both of you.”  
“We will.” Bucky kisses you and squeezes your ass with both hands, holding you against him. “Love you, doll.”

 


	6. Opportunity

There's no further mention of work for a few weeks and then you notice a couple of days coloured in on the calendar, meaning the boys will be away.  
“What are you up to?” you ask casually over dinner.   
“Nothin you need worry your pretty little head over, doll,” Bucky says with a broad grin.  
“Don't patronise me,” you say sternly. “I'm serious. If something's going on I want to know.”  
“Sweetheart, it's just regular stuff. Same old same old.”  
“So there's no top secret Hydra op?”  
Bucky doesn't miss a beat but Steve isn't so skilled at hiding his emotions – his face drops before he can catch it.  
“How bad is it?” you continue.  
They exchange glances but Steve quickly gives in. “It's really not that bad, you don't need to worry.”  
“You're a terrible liar.”  
“It's a well-prepped operation, we'll be in and out,” Bucky says with a resigned sigh. “We can't say any more than that. It's big, it's happening, the plan is for everyone to come home in one piece.”  
“Ok.” You nod. “Please don't lie to me again. I'm invested, I deserve to know if something big is happening. You don't have to give me the details.”

A long day at work has you dozing off in bed long before Steve and Bucky are sleepy but you're woken a while later by their pleasured sighs. When you turn over you find Bucky bent between Steve's spread legs, sucking slowly on his cock while his flesh fingers stroke his balls and crevice, teasing his hole. You watch in silence for a while, Bucky taking Steve's length further into his throat until his eyes glisten and Steve's body turns rigid.

Bucky removes his mouth and presses inside Steve with two fingers, his hole now becoming accustomed to penetration and taking them easily.   
“Such a good boy, Stevie,” Bucky purrs, kissing his thigh. “Taking my fingers so well now. You gonna take my cock in your ass, let me feel you from the inside again?”  
“Yessss,” Steve groans as Bucky's fingers stroke his prostate.   
Bucky keeps his movements slow, gliding them in and out while kissing and licking Steve's stomach and hips. As his breathy 'ahh's grow louder Steve begins to drive down onto Bucky's fingers, impaling himself with needy thrusts until his entire body stiffens like a board and then erupts into spasms. You see his untouched shaft slap against his pelvis, dribbling from the purple tip as he comes down and rakes both hands through his hair.

They kiss passionately, cocks rubbing together as Bucky lays himself on top and slowly caresses Steve's body while his tongue claims his mouth. You shift beneath the covers, your body clad in only Bucky's t-shirt and your unclothed sex throbbing with need, your skin prickling to life as the fire is ignited inside. Gently you fondle a breast in each hand, rolling your nipples between thumb and forefinger and biting your lip as you slither one hand down your body to your mound.   
“Turn over on your knees,” Bucky whispers in Steve's ear. “And don't touch your dick.”   
Steve whines but shifts into position while Bucky annoints his cock with lube and circles it around Steve's puckered hole. In the murky light you catch Bucky's eyes looking over at you, winking slowly before he pushes inside Steve.

Mesmerised, you watch in silence save for the slow crescendo of your breath. Bucky bides his time, letting Steve relax and pull him deeper until his balls grind against Steve's cheeks where he pauses to kiss the back of his neck and shoulders. Lying himself along Steve's back he mimics his position, his hands placed either side as his thrusts set their own rhythm. He coos praise and encouragement into Steve's ear until Steve sobs desperately in pleasure, begging for release.  
“You can do it, Stevie. No need to rub it out, just let it go. Come for me again, make your tight asshole grip my dick and your legs turn to jelly. Come on, baby.”  
Steve collapses down to his elbows and a primal grunt is forced from his throat as his body snaps like a wound up elastic band, quaking uncontrollably as Bucky stills and strokes his back tenderly.  
“Yeah, good boy. Doesn't that feel good?”  
His head raises and drops between his arms in a weak nod.

Bucky gives him a few minutes to recover and begins thrusting with renewed vigour, kneeling upright and gripping Steve's flesh, his hips slapping against Steve's ass as he slams inside over and over in time with their moans. With a deep sigh he drills in and swirls his hips, emptying with violent shudders while his fingers rake pink trails on Steve's back. You watch them both gulp down lungfuls of air and your fingertips are soon coated in your juices as they explore your aching folds. As soon as Bucky withdraws Steve collapses onto his stomach with a groan and you seize the moment, scooting over a spent Bucky to kiss Steve's shoulders.

“Hey, baby girl,” he says, brushing his nose against yours. “Thought you were sleepin'?”  
“I was, but I'm wide awake now.”  
“Me too.” He flips onto his back and runs his hands down your sides. “Hop on.”  
You chuckle and straddle his hips, leaning down to catch his mouth in a long, heated kiss while his gentle fingers explore your body. His straining shaft rubs between your folds as you roll your hips back and forth, finally notching his tip inside and sinking down his length.  
“Go slow,” Steve croaks. “I'm right on the edge.”  
Keeping your lips mashed together you rub your body up and down on his, your erect nipples grazing his smooth chest as his cock brushes your g-spot. When you feel your orgasm approaching you release his mouth and nip at his jaw and neck before sitting upright and grinding his length deep inside. Bucky shifts to sit beside you and teases two fingers between your bodies to thrum against your clit, making your inner muscles twitch eagerly. Steve's breath hitches in his throat as you undulate faster on his cock and Bucky's fingers, crying out through a powerful orgasm that tips Steve over the edge into jarring spasms as his seed flows into you.

Sinking into a contented sleep between Bucky and Steve you savour their warmth on your naked skin, curling into Bucky's chest with Steve planting soft kisses on your shoulders as he hums to himself.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

As their mission approaches the boys grow more tense and spend more time on hushed conversations and bickering than you're used to. One night while attempting to rub Steve's shoulders you find out that bigger muscles just produce more stubborn knots.   
“You know we have someone at work who's paid to do this,” he rumbles, his head tipped forward onto his chest as you knead his shoulder blade with both thumbs.   
“You really should make use of them,” you laugh. “I don't think I'm making any progress.”  
“It feels good, though,” he says with a groan.   
“When's Bucky due home?”  
“I don't know, he was reorganising the armoury.”  
“That's not a good sign, is it?”  
“He does it when he's nervous.”  
Again the foreboding closes in on your chest and you find it hard to breathe. “You have to come home, do you hear me?”  
“We will, baby. Don't you worry about us. Come here,” he says, looking back at you and patting his lap.   
You happily oblige, seeking the safety of his strong embrace to calm your fears. The thought of one or both being injured or killed weighs heavy on your heart, like someone sitting on your chest all day until the physical ache is permanent. He holds you close and kisses your hair, your cheek, your lips. As soon as he licks at the seam you open for his tongue, kissing him back with a sudden urgency. His fingers grip the hem of your shirt and whip it so fast from your body it's a wonder it remains in one piece, and he works just as quickly on your bra while your mouths clash together once more.

Sweeping you into his arms he carries you to the bedroom, roughly peeling off your leggings and stepping out of his shorts. You lie back on the pillows and he crawls up the bed toward you, pushing your legs apart and kneeling between them to lower himself onto you, kissing your neck as he lines up his cock and fills you with one steady push. You both emit a satisfied sigh in unison and he slants his lips down to yours while you adjust and stretch to his size.

The urgency dissipates, replaced with lingering kisses and a careful touch. Steve takes his time and builds you both slowly, erasing all of your worries with his soft hands and smooth thrusts. He's attentive but unapologetic, tender but bold, giving every inch of your body his loving treatment and all the while stroking inside until you are somehow utterly relaxed and burning up with desire at the same time. You crane up to nip at his neck and graze your teeth over his shoulder, your nails raking over his flanks to pull him in faster, deeper, more. All you need is more.

The orgasm that overcomes you isn't accompanied by screaming or clutching at the sheets, it's a wave of euphoria that crashes over you like the sea onto the shore, knocking your feet from the sand and the air from your lungs, churning you around and leaving you limp and blissfully disoriented on the beach. Steve isn't far behind, spurting his warmth into you with a moan into your neck and languishing onto the bed beside you.

Bucky smiles when he finds you held tight in Steve's strong arms, soothed to sleep by his heartbeat beneath your ear and his protective body keeping you warm and safe. He risks waking you just long enough for a goodnight kiss and then curls into you from the other side so that when you wake you're in the middle again.

Only a few mornings later you're up before the boys to make one last breakfast before they leave, not knowing exactly how long they'll be away. It's a quiet meal with your heart in your throat, you don't want to say anything and risk dissolving into tears. Instead you hold them both tight and make them promise to come home intact as soon as they can, closing the door behind you as you leave them behind for an early meeting at work.

Being called into your supervisors office is just like the high school equivalent only the door doesn't say 'principal'. When he finally calls you to take a seat your hands are shaking even though you're confident you've done nothing wrong.  
“You've probably heard the rumours about a restructure, we're moving in to more specifically focussed positions.”  
 _So it's true._ You'd hoped it was nothing more than exaggerated talk. “Yes, I have.”  
“It's happening over the next few weeks, but I wanted to talk to you about a different opportunity. Our colleagues in Georgia are looking for a team leader.”  
Your heart sinks. The promotion would be perfect and allow you to skip a couple of steps on the career path, but Georgia?  
“Um... can I think about it?”  
“I know you'll want to discuss it with your partner but they won't wait long for an answer and I know if I put your name in you'll probably get the position. I can only give you two days.”  
“Ok.”  
You'd never normally call the boys while they're working and you always wait for them text you first but this time you risk it, praying one of them will answer. When both of their phones are off you send a text asking them to call back if they can and try to get on with your day but as the hours wear on the panic starts to tighten your stomach into knots.

There's only one person who can help you sort your thoughts and the comfort is so strong that you feel the tension ease in your neck as soon as the familiar sights of Brooklyn pass by the train window.   
“This is a pleasant surprise,” your mother says, pulling you straight into her arms and closing the door behind you. “Have you eaten?”  
You tell her that you have but you know that won't prevent a plate of food being put in front of you anyway.   
“Mom,” you say while you eat together, wishing you'd worn looser trousers. “I need to talk to you about something.”  
“Ok, honey. It's not Bucky, is it? He seemed to make you real happy.”  
“Yes and no.” You start to explain but realise it's going to take longer than you anticipated with her refusing to give you any advice until you answer all of her questions.  
“So basically you get a threesome every night. Amazing.”  
“No, mom. Most of the time it's just two of us. And not every night.”  
“And they... they'd never slept together before?”  
“They're not like us, remember. They were born in the 20s when it was illegal and then I think they both just repressed it.”  
“And then you came along. I'm thrilled for you, honey. This is fascinating.” She rests her chin in her palm and looks across at you like you've just started to tell her a fairytale.  
“Ok but can we get to the point? What do I do?”  
“I can't answer that for you. If you get there and hate it can you come back?”  
“Jobless, yeah. If I stay at least I have a job, although I don't know what faculty I'd be with. I trained for trauma and that's where all of my postgrad study has been, I could end up somewhere foreign and have to start over.”  
“Which you would do with great success, as always. If this position is a big step up I can't tell you to turn it down. You could come home for weekends, I'm sure they'd visit as much as they could.”  
And there it is, your greatest insecurity since all of this began. What if they didn't? What if Bucky and Steve found they were just as happy without you, that what they really needed all along was someone to push them together. And then, is it better to find this out now or down the track after you've knocked back a huge career opportunity?  
“So what's it like, being with two men at once? I always wondered but your father wouldn't come to the party. So to speak,” she adds with a giggle she's twenty years too old for.  
“Mom!” You groan.

 


	7. Detention

The problem with big beds is that they seem to grow when you’re alone in them. After spending two days being interviewed and exploring the facilities in Georgia you return to an apartment that feels much more empty than a few days earlier. The boys have been away for fifteen days when they estimated no longer than ten and with no way to contact them you’re barely holding back the anxiety that threatens to swallow you whole. Putting your name in for the job was the only way you could see to postpone making a decision but now that you're expecting an offer any day it only adds to the worry about Steve and Bucky's absence.

As soon as you open the door the following afternoon you know Bucky is home, his cologne hangs thick in the air. You drop your bag and keys and dart toward the sound of rummaging in the bedroom, finding him hastily pulling on a pair of faded jeans.  
“C'mere, doll,” he says while buttoning his fly, throwing his arms around you and inhaling deep into your hair. His skin is still damp from the shower, the soap lingering around him as he holds you tight against his chest. Before you can ask about Steve you feel his shoulders heave and a sob makes your heart sink into the pit of your stomach.  
You push back and try to look at his face, but his stronger muscles won't release you. “What's wrong? Is it Steve?”  
“Yeah. He made it back, but they don't know if... The jet was shot down, and... it's bad.”  
“No,” you choke, shaking your head. “God, no. Where is he?”  
“Back at the tower. I'm headed back there now.”  
“I'm coming with you.” You're already stripping off your work clothes, exchanging them for jeans and boots with a knitted sweater. Bucky knows better than to argue but wonders how on earth he'll get you past security, scratching thoughtfully at his jaw while you finish dressing and wind your hair into a ponytail. As you pass him you grab the back of his neck and crash his lips against yours, kissing him hard and fast until you're out of breath. “I was so worried about you.”  
“I'm sorry, doll. I'd call if I could.”  
“I know. Let's go.”

You watch through the glass doors as medical staff scurry around Steve's bed, adjusting an IV pump, checking blood flow to his toes, changing a blood-soaked dressing on his ribs. He lies lifeless and oblivious, mercifully peaceful despite a jagged wound through the side of his freshly-shaved head. Bucky holds your hand tight and a silent tear drops onto your cheek.  
“Is everyone else ok?” you ask quietly, conscious of the sterile hall with its echoing tiled walls.   
Bucky shakes his head solemnly. “Pilot and two agents were killed on impact. The rest of us are just minor stuff, broken bones and a few cuts.” For the first time he sweeps his hair back, revealing a row of sutures at the top of his forehead surrounded by deep purple bruising. “I got off lightly.”  
“And Steve?”  
“Sucking chest wound, fractured skull, bleeding on his brain, and a badly broken leg,” he says, sniffing and rubbing his nose with the back of his sleeve. “He's gonna be pissed about his hair.”  
You chuckle half-heartedly and rest your head on his arm. “He'll be ok.”  
“Yeah, of course. These guys are the best.”  
As if on cue one of the doctors emerges and addresses Bucky. “He's stable and still coming out of the anaesthetic so he won't be awake for a while but the surgery went well. We pinned his leg, repaired his ribs and chest and relieved some of the pressure from his brain. Now we wait. If he were like the rest of us I'd say months at best if he made it through the next couple of days, but Steve Rogers... I'm cautiously optimistic.”  
“Thanks, doc. Can we see him?” Bucky asks.  
“If you're quick and quiet, yes. Then go home and get some rest, come back tomorrow.”  
Bucky ignores the nurse and the symphony of machines to sweep his hand over Steve's forehead and kiss him gently. “We're here, Stevie.”  
You hang back in the corner, intimidated by the weakness of Steve lying so still and the seriousness of his injuries, until Bucky beckons you with a wave of his hand and a reassuring smile. Taking Steve's warm hand in yours you rub your cheek against the back and wordlessly kiss his knuckles, unable to speak.

Back at your apartment Bucky sinks into the couch and pulls you into his lap, holding you uncomfortably tight.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.  
“Not really,” he sighs. “It was just awful. The whole mission was successful up until then – it was messy and nothing went to plan, but we got it done. When I found Steve and the pilot together I thought... I was the only one in good enough shape to check on them, I had to crawl through the wreckage and everything was on fire. The first two agents were so burned... oh god, I'll never forget the smell... and I made myself check the pilot first so when he didn't have a pulse and I rolled Steve over and he didn't move I thought... I thought he was...” He crushes you against him and breaks down into sobs, burying his face in your shoulder.   
“It's ok, baby. He'll be ok, you got to him in time.”  
When the tears finally subside it's almost midnight and you leave tiny kisses all over his face, sweeping the moisture away with your thumbs. You stand and hold your hand out as though he needs help to rise from the couch, leading him to the bedroom and waiting until he's tucked under the covers to strip off your clothes and turn on the shower. You leave the lights off and let your own tears wash away with the hot water, only turning off the tap when you feel in control again. Finding Bucky already sleeping you don't bother with pajamas, tucking yourself into his side and letting his warm embrace and soft breath lull you to sleep.

Long before dawn you're woken by Bucky's thrashing and crying out in his sleep. He's rolled away from you and you rub down his spine firmly.  
“Ssssh, Bucky. You're dreaming.”  
“No... Not Steve, no!” He bolts upright and gasps, looking down at his hands and then back at you with wide, frightened eyes. “Oh god, did I hurt you?”  
“No, baby,” you whisper as you pull him back down.   
“I'm sorry. I was... he was...”   
You silence him with a finger to his lips and stroke lightly down his forehead and between his eyes until his breathing slows and he pulls you into a long kiss. His hands roam your body and he drapes your top leg over his firm thigh, rolling his hips against you until you feel his erection stirring. His face is still wet with tears when he nuzzles your neck, nipping gently at your shoulder and rolling a peaked nipple with his thumb. He rubs against you until his hardened tip is butting into your mound, your body responding to his arousal as if by reflex.  
“I need you,” he says breathily.  
“I'm here.”  
Bucky guides his shaft between your folds and slides easily inside with a low groan, kissing you hungrily. You hook your leg behind to rest on his ass, pulling him deeper while your tongues dance, and he thrusts slowly in and out with long strokes. It's quiet but for low sighs and panting breaths until your hands grip his shoulders and you shiver with pleasure as he comes and stills, his arms remaining tight around you while you rest your head in his shoulder.

You wake to the sound of the shower and join him a minute later, resting your head on his chest while your bleary eyes adjust to the light.   
“Mornin' baby doll,” he says, planting a kiss on your head. “Can you come with me today or do you have to work?”  
“I'll take the day off, I'm not leaving until I know he's ok.”  
You both throw down a quick breakfast and rush out the door, stopping for takeaway coffee on the way to break the otherwise silent walk.

Neither you or Bucky are prepared for Steve's state when you arrive. He's sitting up talking to Natasha, looking worse for wear but awake. Without waiting for permission you burst through the door and rush to his side, taking him by surprise and kissing his mouth.  
“Missed you too,” he says with a smile as you throw your arms around his neck. His large hand rubs soothingly over your back as tears well in your eyes and you hear Natasha talking softly with Bucky, saying she stayed overnight so she was there when he woke a few minutes earlier.   
“How are you feeling? Are you ok?” you ask, swiping at your cheeks.   
“Yeah, I will be. Bit of a headache.” He smiles gingerly at Bucky, earning the three of you a frown from Natasha before she leaves the room.   
Bucky leans in and kisses his lips but you refuse to let go while they get reacquainted. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says, their foreheads pressed together.  
“I owe you my life. Again.” Steve pushes a lock of hair behind Bucky's ear. “You all right?”  
Bucky nods. “I reckon we're even.”

Late in the afternoon your phone rings and you grimace at the Georgia number.   
“We'd like to offer you the position,” the department head who interviewed you says happily.  
“That's fantastic,” you say, trying to fake some enthusiasm.   
“I'm emailing the contract to you now, we need it back within 48 hours.”  
You were hoping Steve would be back at home before you had to bring it up but now that isn't going to happen. On the way back to Steve's room you pick up coffee for Bucky and yourself, opening the door to them chatting softly about something that happened on the mission. You're surprised when Steve insists on retelling it rather than keeping it between the two of them.  
“So I took the gun from Bucky's holster and shot the guy point blank because all I could think was I'd have to come home without him and explain it to you. It was then I realised what we have isn't just adding a third person to a relationship, I don't think two of us could go on without the other.”  
“I felt the same when I pulled you from the jet. Like nothing would ever be the same. And god, if anything happened to you, doll...” Bucky trails off and lays a hand over yours.   
The question that has taken up residence in the back of your mind – if you went to Georgia would they just carry on as a couple and forget about you – packs its bags and leaves in that moment. You know now that they'd support your decision to go, they'd miss you as much as you'd miss them and they'd visit as much as they could.

It's another three days before Steve is able to come home and although he's supposed to be convalescing it's practically impossible to keep him off his feet. The following weekend you finally sit them both down and tell them about the job offer, ignoring their protests when you add that you turned it down and decided to stay with them. Once it was yours and you felt free to go it seemed less important by comparison and once you knew you didn't _need_ to stay the _want_ to stay far outweighed the desire for a promotion.   
“The second I get the all clear to resume strenuous activity I'm going to show my appreciation,” Steve says. “I never was any good with words. Action is more my thing.”  
“I'm holding you to that, “ you say with a wink, lying your legs across his thighs and your head in Bucky's lap while he turns on the television and runs his flesh hand through your hair.  
As he lulls you to sleep you let your mind wander into the future and what might be, into ideas and hopes you haven't allowed yourself until now. Long term commitment, marriage, pets, and children all seemed impossible as a trio before, but perhaps you just have to want something enough to make it happen.

 


	8. Publicity

The more time passes you grow more comfortable with you choice to stay, especially since you’re placed with the emergency department at work where the majority of your experience is. With Bucky working late one night you come home to Steve alone on the couch looking deflated. As soon as you open the door he looks up at you and half smiles, but it’s short lived and barely touches his eyes.  
“What’s wrong, are you feeling ok?”  
“Yeah. Come here.”  
You hang your keys and coat, dropping your bag onto the table before joining him on the couch. When you make to give him a quick hello kiss he grabs you and deepens it immediately, massaging your tongue with his until you’re out of breath.   
“I missed you,” he says.   
“I missed you, too. What’s really going on?”  
He sighs. “Tony is having a party, he’s invited everyone and their partners and of course they all think you and Bucky are a couple and I’m just the third wheel.”  
“You have two options, then. Tell them about us, or get a date.”  
“That’s not funny.”  
“I wasn’t joking. You don’t want to tell them?”  
“No, it would make everything weird on missions. They’d all be talking about us. How did your mom take it, I never got a chance to ask.”  
You chuckle. “My mom was way too interested in the details. She stopped short of asking to watch.”  
“Well, I won’t be looking her in the eye any time soon.” He laughs and shakes his head. “There have been jokes and innuendos about Bucky and me as long as I’ve known him and it never bothered me before. Now it feels like a kick in the guts, like they’re making a joke of my life. And you could get hurt, I don’t want that. Bucky and I can take care of ourselves, but if they start on you...”  
“Um, back it up there, Steve. I don’t need your protection. Maybe sometimes in the physical sense but sure as hell not from a few lame jokes about being the meat in your sandwich.”  
“Sorry, I forget that you’re not... you’d think I’d have learned that lesson about independent women a long time ago.”  
“You’d think.” You look up at the picture of Peggy above the fireplace and smile, thinking how she’d be slapping the back of his head if she were here.

Bucky on the other hand has no reservations about the party at all and would likely be confessing his love for both of you from the rooftops if it wouldn’t bother Steve. When you arrive together he keeps a protective hand on the small of your back, right where the skirt of your Rockabilly-inspired dress flares over your hips. You've only really been to the public areas of Stark Tower so you're not sure what to expect, but you’re blown away when the lift doors open and you find that Tony has an entire floor laid out like a nightclub just a few floors lower than the residences.

After being reintroduced to everyone you finally get a chance for a drink and to appreciate the view over the city through the curved glass that entirely comprises one wall. Bucky's scent wafts over you as he threads his arms around your waist from behind and whispers into your ear.  
“Nice view.”  
“It's incredible, the sunrise must be magic from here.”  
“That's not the view I was talking about, doll,” he whispers. “Your legs in those heels... the crease between your tits that just peeks out the top... I always loved those dresses.”  
The first time he spotted one in your wardrobe he insisted you put it on for him immediately and since you have a reasonable collection of different styles you've worn one for every date you've been on. This evening's choice has a fitted skirt rather than layered tulle, a large red bow standing out in the dip of the sweetheart neckline against the white on black polka dot pattern. You weren't always this comfortable with the way it hugs your curves but you've grown to love them as Steve and Bucky do.   
“Wait til you see what's underneath,” you tease.  
Bucky growls low against your hair, his warm breath brushing your cheek. “Don't make me bend you over the pool table, baby doll.”

Nat's heels click like a metronome on the hard floor as she approaches.  
“It's always strange seeing you in something other than cargo pants,” she says to Bucky. “You look almost normal.”  
“Except for the metal arm, of course. Kinda gives me away.”  
Bucky used to avoid anything that wasn't long sleeved when he wasn't in uniform; an attempt to blend in with the crowd by covering all but his hand. He's more at ease with it now and tonight even rolled the sleeves of his buttoned shirt up to expose his forearms. The deep burgundy colour is one you helped him pick out and one of your favourites on him.  
“There is that.”  
“Would you like a drink, doll?” he asks.  
“Yeah, please. Surprise me.”  
“Careful, Thor left some of that Asgardian stuff,” Nat warns.  
“I'll stay away from that. For her at least,” Bucky says with a wink.  
You both watch him walk away, then Nat turns to you. “You think they'll ever come out, or will they just leave everyone guessing.”  
Your blood turns to ice. “Pardon?”  
“Oh don't worry, your little secret is safe with me. I saw you when Steve was injured, the way you kissed him and then Bucky did the same. I haven't told anyone.”  
“Thanks...”  
“Until you came along we all just assumed they were porking but wanted to keep it private. Some of the others still think you're only around to keep up the façade, so they can pretend they're straight. I don't see what the big deal is personally, where Steve puts his dick is his business.”  
“Why bring it up, then?”  
She smiles. “A couple of reasons. I doubt you've told anyone else, so now you know if you need someone to talk things over with you can discuss it with me and I'll keep it quiet. Also so you know that if you hurt either one of them you'll have all of us on your doorstep before you can say 'Avengers'.”  
“Thank you, for keeping it to yourself. I love them both, it's just not something that's easy to talk about, it's not a normal arrangement. Bucky and I are comfortable enough with it but Steve is really worried about people finding out.”  
“I guess he thinks we won't respect him.”  
“You would though, right?”  
“Of course, he's our leader. Not a single one of us is normal, take a look around. I get it, though. He's probably been hiding his feelings as long as he's known Bucky. Imagine being back in their time and admitting you're in a three way relationship.”  
The thought makes you shudder just as Bucky returns with your drink, slipping his arm around your waist. “You're not trying to steal my girlfriend, are you?”  
“No,” Nat says with a wink in your direction. “Gee I'd love to raid her wardrobe, though.”  
“Any time.”

After a bathroom trip you find Steve playing pool with Clint.  
“You really do like a challenge,” you say, resting a hand in the centre of his back.   
“I'm gonna try blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back next, make it at least fair.” Clint laughs.  
“I almost had you in the last game,” Steve says defensively.  
“You were three balls behind, Rogers.”  
“Still, it was closer than all the other times. You having a good time?” he asks you.   
“Yeah, I am.”  
He puts his hand on your shoulder and leans in so his face is only a couple of inches from yours, his cologne filling your head “I don't think I told you how gorgeous you look in that dress,” he says quietly. “I can hardly take my eyes off of you.”  
When you look up his dark eyes are staring at your mouth and you think he's going to close the gap and kiss you.  
“Rogers, we playin' or oglin'?”  
Steve sighs and pulls away, gathering himself quickly to take his shot. “I wish I was as comfortable as Bucky and you,” he says a moment later.   
“Don't worry about it, baby,” you whisper back. “You'll get there.”

Deciding to leave them to it so he can concentrate, you go in search of Bucky or someone else to talk to, spotting him near the bar with Sam. You stop short on approach when you catch part of their conversation.  
“She ain't worth it,” Sam says. “I am telling you she's gonna cause nothing but heartache for both of you. You obviously haven't seen the way he looks at her.”  
Bucky sweeps his hair back from his face. “Sam, it's not what it looks like, trust me. It's all under control and everything's fine.”  
“I'm not convinced, and it's gonna be a pain in my ass when she gets tired of you and moves on to Steve. Then she'll get tired of him, too, and I'll be left cleaning up the mess.”  
Even though you now Sam has no idea what’s really going on and you can almost understand the assumptions he’s making about you, it hurts to hear yourself spoken about this way. You consider turning back to find someone else to talk to but it’s already too late.   
“I appreciate your concern but you have no idea what's really going on.”  
“Your girl is in love with your buddy and you're ignoring it, that's what's really going on.”  
Bucky turns to you so abruptly you jump like you've been caught in the candy jar, he could feel you close by. “Hey, doll,” he says, holding out his hand. “I was just telling Sam how happy we are.”  
“I'm sure you are, I don't mean any disrespect. Just looking out for my friends, you know?”  
“I get it,” you say. “We're on the same side.”  
“Then it's all good,” he says before excusing himself.

Bucky pulls you in and kisses you but is soon interrupted by Tony with a microphone and the good-humoured groan of the crowd.  
“I'll be short and sweet, I promise,” he begins. “I just wanted to say how great it is to have Steve back on his feet, I think we're all resting a little better.”  
 _No wonder Steve feels the weight of the world on his shoulders,_ you think to yourself, spotting him just a few metres away.   
“Thanks, Tony,” he says. “It's good to be back.”  
“And a special mention to Bucky, who risked his own life to pull him out of the wreckage and make sure everyone who could be saved was safe.”  
As the others clap and cheer you wonder if he feels accepted and valued, now. Even though he’s been working alongside them all for years he is convinced that the others are just waiting for him to go all Winter Soldier and start killing again.  
“It was nothing, anyone would do the same.”  
“Maybe. In all honesty though, you two need to stop rescuing one another and just kiss, get it over with.”  
The rest of the room erupts in friendly laughter along with Bucky and you but Steve turns beet red and looks down at the floor. You watch him rapidly recover himself and smile but it tears at your heart not to just rush over and defend him. They don't know their jokes are hitting a nerve, and it wouldn't be so raw if Steve were comfortable with his relationship. It's beginning to smart, like he's ashamed of both of you.

Bucky drops your hand and hisses under his breath “I'm putting a stop to this,” closing the distance between you and Steve and three long strides.   
He pulls Steve into a tight embrace and whispers into his ear. “Let's just tell 'em and get on with it.”  
“No,” Steve says firmly, pulling away from Bucky's arms. To everyone else in the room it's nothing more than a masculine display of gratitude, but it only adds to the tension building between them.

The walk home is excruciatingly quiet, there's only so much conversation you can carry on alone before you just give up and walk in silence. As soon as they're behind closed doors, though, Steve rounds on Bucky and stops him dead in the hall.  
“If I say I'm not ready, I'm not ready. How could you put me on the spot like that?”  
“I'm sorry, Stevie. I just thought if we ripped off the bandaid it would be easier. I feel so lucky to have you both, I want to tell anyone who'll listen.”  
“I do, too. When the time is right.”  
“When is that? We don't have to bury it anymore. How many more years are we going to hide it?”  
“I don't know!” he snaps. “I'm going to bed.”

You hold a hand against Bucky’s chest when he tries to follow. “Give him a minute and I’ll go talk to him while you calm down.”  
He nods sullenly and you wait a couple of minutes before going to Steve in the bedroom. He already has the lights off and has moved his pillow to the far end near the wall.   
“Hey,” you whisper, kissing his bare shoulder.  
“Hey.” He reaches behind him and pulls your arm around his waist. “I just can’t do it, Sugar. I can’t. They’d never understand.”  
“Ok, but are we supposed to just stay behind closed doors so no one accidentally gives it away? You know I’m no good at keeping my hands to myself.”  
“It’s not forever. I love you, I love Bucky. What does it matter if people don’t know?”  
Rationally he’s probably right, it’s no one’s business but yours. Tony and the others aren’t strangers, though, they’re among his closest friends. They have to be open and honest with each other because they’re regularly responsible for one another’s lives. Perhaps you’re over thinking it, telling him he shouldn’t care what other people think but wanting him to tell everyone seems a little hypocritical.   
“I love you, too.”   
He rolls onto his stomach and kisses you slowly, lacing his fingers into yours as you nuzzle into his shoulder and close your eyes.

It feels like hours later the bed shakes and Bucky stalks up on his knees and lies himself flat on top of Steve, making him grunt and groan.  
“I’m sorry I was pissed with you, Stevie,” he mumbles into Steve’s neck. “I’ll be patient.”  
“S’ok,” Steve grunts.   
Without opening your eyes you can hear Steve waking up as Bucky kisses his neck and shoulders and grinds his hips against him through the covers. The heavier breaths and whispered moans give them both away and you shift toward the edge of the bed to give them more room. It’s no longer an unusual occurrence – watching them make love without participating – and it arouses you to such an extent that you can bring yourself to orgasm in a couple of minutes. Not that one of them isn’t always right there to help you out, of course.

Lying on your side on a few extra pillows you watch them kiss and explore, Bucky taking both of their shafts and rubbing them together in one hand while Steve urges him on with bites on his chest. Bucky guides Steve onto his side so he’s facing you and winks in your direction as he kisses downward, tracing the contour of his abs and navel with his tongue while his hand guides Steve’s legs apart and cups his sack.  
“Oh, god... Bucky...” he says as the head of his cock passes Bucky’s pursed lips.   
He licks and sucks, explores every inch and vein with his lips and tongue while his hand creeps back toward his ass. As Steve moans louder and grips Bucky’s hair he takes the entire length into his throat and slides a lubed finger deep into his hole, circling the swell of his prostate while drawing his mouth back and forth. When he starts to pant and thrust through his lips Bucky withdraws and stalks back up to kiss his mouth roughly, gripping a handful of Steve’s hair and groaning as he grinds his hips.

“I just love you so fucking much, Stevie,” Bucky says, looking straight into Steve’s bright blue eyes.   
“I know. I love you too.”  
“Show me,” he whispers, his intense stare turning smoothly to a playful grin.  
Your heart pounds in your chest as Steve throws Bucky off and onto his back, straddling his thighs and pinning his wrists with one hand. He coats Bucky’s length in lube with firm strokes, smoothing his hand over his balls and stomach before raising himself into position and releasing his wrists, lowering himself inch by inch onto Bucky’s glistening cock.

They share a sigh as their bodies come together, a drawn out kiss while Steve stretches around Bucky’s girth. As soon as they start to move together your fingertips are lightly exploring your prickling skin and your own desire can’t wait any longer. Your nipples strain against your makeshift nightgown – the t-shirt Steve wore a few hours yesterday after work with his scent still wafting from its fibres. Squeezing your thighs together you try to stem the throbbing between them, holding off your release in favour of watching your men make love, their shadows undulating in an entangled dance on the wall . Their soft moans build slowly to fierce grunts and Bucky holds Steve’s body flat against him, thrusting hard up into him until his balls slap hard against his cheeks. You feel the heat rising to your cheeks as your skin flushes with growing arousal and blood rushes through your ears, and with a forceful thrust Bucky’s seed flows into Steve and they fall still and silent but for their heavy breath.

Your eyes fall closed as your hand snakes down your body, your breath catching when you finally reach your desperately swollen bud. It’s already soaked with your juices and your finger slips easily over and around it until you’re biting your lip and pinching your nipple with the other hand. When you look back to the boys their lips are still locked together but after a few seconds they both turn their attention to you.   
“Want some help there, baby girl?” Steve asks.  
Even before you nod he’s moving off Bucky and toward you, kneeling between your legs and pushing your knees wide, leaning in to dip his tongue into your pussy and swirl it up and over your bud. A moan is torn from your throat as he settles there and continues, alternating thrusting his tongue inside and lapping at your clit as you fist his hair and grind your hips against him in a frantic bid for release. Finally he slides two fingers into your cunt and sucks your clit back and forth between his teeth until you unravel and seize, your thighs shaking uncontrollably as he soothes you with gentle hands on your abdomen.

Spasms are still firing off in your pussy when he crawls up to kiss and enter you at the same time, your muscles gripping his cock and feeling every vein as he moves slowly in and out.   
“Oh, god,” he says with a shudder. “I’m not gonna last long.”  
He takes one of your hands and moves it between you to your clit but you only need rest it there while he thrusts against you to feel another orgasm building. It coils around in your pelvis, tightening and twisting, backing off and constricting again as Steve keeps his movements in a steady rhythm. You only rub harder when his thrusts become uneven and his face contorts in ecstasy, reaching your peak just in time to trigger Steve’s release inside you.

He collapses down and takes his weight on his forearms, kissing you gently. You can feel his body still quaking and spasming and his breath is ragged and shallow.  
“Don’t you ever think I’m ashamed of you, beautiful girl.” He brushes a lock of hair from your temple and his blue eyes sparkle in the dim light from outside. “People won’t understand what we have and I’m just not ready to deal with that yet. But I love you, more than I know how to say.”  
“I love you too,” you whisper.  
Steve extracts himself and joins Bucky in the shower, returning a few minutes later with a towel around his waist and a warm wash cloth for you. You’d intended to get up and shower but dozed off in blissful bonelessness in between.

When they both get back into bed their skin is warm and damp and you fall asleep on your stomach between them with one arm each protectively over your waist and Bucky’s leg tangled around yours because as you’re well accustomed to he sleeps like an octopus with every limb wrapped around something. Somehow the tension doesn’t feel entirely resolved but you’re not sure it will be until your relationship is out in the open.

 


	9. Retribution

 

Over the next month you fall back into your routine and the argument is mostly forgotten. Just when you're being given more and more cases at work the Avengers seem to have a lull in activity with all of their Hydra leads now dead and SHIELD scattered and silent. Some of the weight has lifted from Steve's shoulders and he's more playful and affectionate with Bucky and you.

All your professional life you’ve known better than to bring cases home, known to leave your own emotions at the door when you visit a patient. One you’ve seen far too much of recently has been playing on your mind more than it should, though, and its dragged your mood down enough for Steve to notice as soon as you open the door.

“Hey, Sugar,” he kisses you and takes the coat from your shoulders. “We saved you some dinner.”  
“Thanks, you didn’t have to. I actually ate at work, but...”  
“I’ll put it in the fridge for tomorrow then,” he finishes. “Is everything ok?”  
It’s just past midnight and the last thing you feel like is talking about it, you just want to fall into bed fully clothed and sleep for a week. “Yeah, where’s Bucky?”  
“Sleeping. He said to wake him when you were home.”  
“Don’t, I’m just going to wash off the hospital germs and go to bed myself.”

He waits until you’re lathering up under the steaming shower to follow.  
“Mind if I join you?”  
“Not at all.”  
The truth is you’d sooner be left alone but as soon as his hands are on your shoulders you’re glad you didn’t turn him down. For someone so strong Steve has such precise control over his movements, his fingers massaging you as though you’re a delicate flower with easily-bruised petals and yet almost immediately the tension starts to fade away. You jump and yelp when he hits a sore spot at the base of your neck.  
“Sorry,” he says, holding his hands up.   
“Don’t stop, that was really good.”  
“You have a huge knot there, what have you been doing to yourself?”  
“Nothing that I know of, my neck is just tight.”  
“I can get it out but it’s probably gonna hurt.”  
“I trust you.”

As he kneads your shoulders and neck you relax back against him until his erection presses into your lower back. You reach a hand behind and stroke it gently, his deep moan sending shivers up your spine and his fingers pressing a little harder into your skin.   
“I've missed you,” he says, kissing from the tip of your shoulder up the side of your neck. “We've hardly seen you the last couple of weeks.”  
He has a point, you've been working later and later, making sure patients are getting the services they need and not leaving the hospital until its done. One particular case of suspected domestic violence has been taking a lot of your time despite the victim being unwilling to confess what's really going on. It's rewarding when you get a result but it's leaving you exhausted and missing out on time with Steve and Bucky.   
“I know, I'm sorry.” Your exhale shudders as his hands move to your breasts, your nipples rolled between his thumbs and fingers until your head falls back against his chest.   
“I just worry about you.”  
You turn in his arms and catch his mouth in a searing kiss as the water streams over your faces. “You think I can't handle a bit of hard work?” you tease, taking Steve's erection in your hand.   
“Maybe,” he whispers, watching his hands smooth over your skin. “I just miss that sweet little mouth...” His fingertips tease between your folds and a whimper escapes your parted lips. “On my cock.”  
“Steven Grant Rogers!” You laugh and he turns a coy shade of crimson, which soon fades as you sink slowly to your knees, leaving a trail of kisses down the centre of his torso.

Steve's bright blue eyes gaze down at you, his hand weaving gently into your hair as you kiss the tip of his shaft. Without looking away from his eyes you cup his balls and give them a soft squeeze and tug the way he likes as you take him into your mouth and lick off the precum with your tongue. You slowly work more of his length past your lips, your hand toying with his heavy sack or teasing back between his cheeks. As you take the last inch and his head hits your throat you grip his thigh and raise your eyes to his, finding them almost glazed over as he watches you swallow him. He moans deep in his throat and you pull back to lick and suck at him some more, working him into a frantic state of tugging on your hair and fucking your mouth with shallow thrusts.

“Oh, god... get back up here before I come in your mouth.”  
You make your way back up his body and he lifts you by the hips as though you weigh nothing, wrapping your legs around him and filling you with one rough thrust, making you cry out. Once you would have cared if Bucky heard you together but now the thought only fuels the arousal burning in the pit of your stomach. Steve stills to allow your walls time to stretch around him before backing out almost completely, filling you again with another jolting thrust. With your back against the tiles he moves unhurriedly in and out, watching your bodies join, kissing you hungrily.

Steve stops a moment for you to catch your breath and lifts you higher so he's thrusting up into your swollen pussy, watching intently for the hitch in your throat when he hits your g-spot. He grins and pulls back to glide over it again, using accelerating shallow movements until your head falls back against the wall and your moans turn primal and fierce, begging for release. With his strong arms supporting your weight you let go and your body turns rigid as you tighten around him, your legs forcing him deep inside and over the edge, his seed firing into your depths as you grow limp in his embrace.

After a long deep kiss he sets you on your feet and washes you both off before shutting off the water and wrapping a towel around you, kissing your forehead.   
“I love you, Sugar.”  
“Love you too,” you say with a contented sigh into his chest. “I'll come home on time tomorrow, ok? Cross my heart.”

For the first time in weeks you're home on time even though you feel a little guilty about leaving some paperwork for tomorrow, but the apartment is quiet.  
“Steve? Buck? You here?”  
You're answered with silence and quickly start grumbling about the boys forgetting you were making a special effort today. As you change into casual clothes you dial Bucky's number and then Steve's but neither answers.

You've just switched on the television and started dinner when your phone rings, Steve's picture flashing on the screen.   
“Hey, did you forget I'd be home early today?” you answer.  
“Um, sweetie? It's Nat.”  
“Shit, what's wrong?”  
“Nothing, but you might want to come down here., the boys have had a bit of an argument. Or I could drag them home by the ears for ya?”  
“I'll be there in a few minutes.”

When you arrive out of the bitter evening only Bucky and Nat greet you in the rec room.   
“Where's Steve? What's going on?”  
“He's in his quarters.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Remember for a while he lived here, he just moved in with me when I couldn't be alone? He still has his room here.”  
“Bucky, what happened?”  
He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “We'd been training, we were the only two in the showers and I sort of, you know... I mentioned how hot it was listening to you two last night, started lathering up his back...”  
“Yeah, and?” you prompt.  
“Sam came in. We didn't hear him until he'd seen me reach around, and...”  
“Fuck.”  
“Not quite.” Nat bursts into laughter. “Sorry. I'm sorry. This is not funny. Why don't you let him cool off here and talk to him tomorrow?”  
You're already pressing the button for the elevator, although you don't know where you're going.

“What. Were. You. Thinking?” You punctuate each word with a slap on Bucky's hard chest, which only adds to your ire by not flinching.   
“I wasn't, I was just really worked up after last night.”  
“So you were thinking with your dick.”  
“Yes,” he says quietly.  
“What does that make you?”  
“A giant dick,” he says quietly, lowering his head.  
“Damn straight. You're gonna apologise and we're all going home.”  
“You don't think I already tried? He won't listen to me, says he needs some space.”

“Steve?” you call, knocking on the door. “It's me, babe. Open up.”  
His voice comes through the crack beside the door, as though he's been leaning on it waiting for you. “Please, Sugar. I don't want to fight with you, too.”  
“Then let me in. I'm not leaving until you do.”  
You look over at Bucky, he's clearly sorry and distressed, clenching and unclenching his hands while his square jaw grinds back and forth. The tension radiates off him in waves, he's desperate to just kick the door down.   
“Go home and calm down,” you say softly, soothing him with slow strokes between his eyes. “I'll stay until he's ready to come out.”  
“Doll, this is stupid. I fucked up but he's being ridiculous.”  
“He's hurt, he's embarrassed, and he's disappointed you didn't listen to him. Please, Buck. Go home and I'll call you in a bit.” You hold a finger against his lips when he starts to protest and then raise up on your toes to kiss him. “I love you, I'll call you. Please?”

He sulks away, his feet dragging on the tiled floor all the way back to the elevator, and you sink down to the floor outside Steve's door, letting your head rest back against the wall.   
“Right here when you change your mind, Steve. Bucky has gone home.”

Bucky has called twice before Steve emerges and sits beside you, hanging his head down so far his chin almost hits his chest.  
“I don't think I can do this any more.”  
Your heart leaps into your throat and starts beating so fast you cough involuntarily. “Steve, don't.”  
“Tony's been hassling me to move back in here, I'm supposed to be their leader. I think I'm going to do that. Bucky has you now, he doesn't need me to take care of him any more.”  
“But they all know now, Steve. You don't have to worry about sneaking around or people finding out. Sam saw you, it's all in the open. I know it wasn't the way you wanted it to come out and it's sooner than you wanted, but it's done now.”  
“Sam will keep his mouth shut if I move in here and put it behind me.”  
“Put what behind you? Us? You can't say you love me and just walk away and you can't seriously think you can do that to Bucky. I won't let you do this. Just come home.”  
Steve turns to you as tears spill over onto his cheeks. “I'm sorry, baby. It's not your choice. We can still see each other but I don't think us living together will work out.”  
“But I love you. We love you.”

Nat finds you still sitting outside Steve's door with your knees curled up to your chest, your head resting on top.   
“Hey, you ok?”  
You shake your head and choke back a sob.   
“I'm gonna get someone to take you home, ok? Let Steve have some time and we'll talk in the morning.”  
“No, I'm staying. I'm not leaving it like this.”  
“You have to, sweet. Try not to worry. Bucky needs you right now.”  
“I don't understand what happened.”  
“I don't either, except that he's terrified of people finding out the truth. Come on.” She holds out a hand to pull you up.

Your blood boils when you find Sam waiting to escort you back to the apartment.   
“I think I'll be just fine on my own. Thanks.”  
“Wait... I obviously didn't have the whole story. I still don't. I shouldn't have tried to warn the guys away from you.”  
“You're right, you shouldn't.” You're fuming as you walk away from him and out onto the street, tugging your coat tight around yourself and folding your arms as you power away from him.  
“I just saw two friends in love with the same woman and figured it would get ugly. I didn't know they were... I'm sorry.”  
Sam could easily overtake and stop you but he doesn't, he remains a few steps behind so you can hear him and he can see you home safe. A block from your apartment you turn on your heel and storm back toward him so abruptly he pulls up short with only an inch between you.  
“You told him if he moves back into the tower you'll keep quiet. Why?”  
“Because that's what he wants. Why can't you and Bucky see that? He's Captain fucking America, does it occur to either of you what will happen when the public find out him and Bucky are sleeping together? And in a three way? Spin that however you want, people are gonna talk.”  
“So what, we should just end it and ignore our feelings?”  
“I don't know, this isn't a regular situation. You have to expect there will be bumps in the road with this kind of relationship, right?”  
“Yes, but this isn't a bump in the road. It's about other people who will judge us, and it's not up to you to blackmail him into keeping his distance. If you were a friend you'd be standing behind him when it comes out, not trying to keep his secrets. This just tells me you're probably one of those people judging our choices.”  
“I'm not, I just don't want him getting hurt.”  
“Then get him back to us where he belongs and support him when it gets tough. Steve Rogers never ran from a fight, that's what you're telling him to do. Run and hide.”

You open the door and Bucky is waiting on the other side for you to collapse into his arms, holding you in a crushing embrace and crying quietly into your hair. He pulls back and holds your face at arms' length, his blue eyes dulled with despair.  
“He's coming back, right? He'll come home?”  
“We have to give him the space he asked for.”  
“I'm sorry,” he sobs. “I didn't mean for Sam to see, I just got carried away.”  
“I know, baby.” You kick the door closed and hold onto him a while longer, stroking the back of his neck.

 _Freud would have a field day with us,_ you think with a smirk as Bucky sinks his cock inside and hangs his head forward onto your shoulder. With dawn rapidly approaching, hours of frustration and resisting touching each other out of guilt have finally lead to this, with both of you exhausted and desperate for the post-sex haze that brings sleep. It's quiet and unenergetic, a streamlined exercise in efficiency on the race to orgasm. Your own fingers strum mercilessly at your clit as Bucky moves back and forth, his thick shaft filling you and his balls grazing your backside. He groans into your shoulder and bites at your neck, the last push you needed to tip you over the edge into a sweaty, moaning mess of spasming pussy and quivering limbs. Bucky is only seconds behind, spurting into you with a satisfied sigh and rolling onto the pillow, pulling you back into his arms.

The sleep that takes you both is neither sufficient or restful, and when the sun breaks the horizon you bury your face in his chest and beg for just a few hours' more.

In a smaller bed not too far away, Steve lies awake with his hands clasped tight behind his head and squeezes his gritty eyes closed. A handful of events play over and over in his mind, unaffected by the fatigue of his brain or whether his eyes are open or shut. The look on Sam's face when he stood at the end of the showers, seeing Bucky pressed against his bare back with his mouth attached to Steve's shoulder and his flesh hand stroking his growing cock. He saw something in his eyes, some small disapproval at their dalliance, but what bothered him most was what he couldn't see. There's the shameful, grimy feeling he always got listening or watching Bucky and you together when he thought his desires were hidden, the tightening in the pit of his stomach and the immediate quickening of his pulse when his ears registered that first moan or sigh, the first faint smack of lips on skin. It was exciting, arousing, and shameful all at once, but it was ok because it was hidden away behind closed doors.

Above all is the reason he's been terrified of the others finding out, though. Like a hard drive with bad sectors he tries and tries to bring back the plane crash and being pulled out, needing the reassurance that Bucky wouldn't have let emotions fuel him and bypass the others to get to Steve, leaving his crewmen to die in lieu of saving his lover. He can never ask, Bucky the elite soldier would find the idea of letting his heart affect his mission abhorrent, but Steve knows the reason the scenario grew in his mind in the first place: if the roles were reversed, he can't guarantee he'd be objective. The idea that either one of them be questioned about their priorities in a similar situation makes bile rise in the back of his throat.

  
  


When your pager goes off you groan at the painful volume cutting through your aching head, the result of night after night of restless sleep. It's been almost a week without Steve, now. Bucky has promised to give him as much time and space as he needs but he comes home every evening broken and emotional, the daily disappointment wearing on his already frayed mind.

Standing from your half-eaten lunch you pick up the phone from the staff room wall and press 3 for the ED, tapping your foot while waiting for the receptionist to answer.   
“Amber is back and in a pretty bad way, thought you'd want to see her before she discharges herself again.”  
You wrap up your sandwich and shove it in the fridge, quickly making your way to the far corner of the ward where a woman in her late twenties is lying on a guerney with her eyes closed. From the purple swelling around one side she doesn't have a lot of choice but the IV painkillers being pumped into her vein are likely making her drowsy as well. She squints and turns her head toward you as you approach.  
“Hi,” you say simply. She already knows better than to lie to you but so far you've been unable to convince her to report the beatings from her husband.  
“I'm ok, just a couple of broken ribs.”  
“Just? Looks more than that to me, Amber. What'd you tell the doc this time?”  
“I fell off a ladder.”  
“Can I get you anything? Anything to make things easier once you're back at home?”  
“No.”  
“Did you start to put things in place like we talked about? Set some money aside and get another car key?”  
“Not yet, no. It's only been a few days.” She fidgets with the rings on her hand before speaking again. “Thank you for not pushing or threatening me, I appreciate it.”  
You can't do either of those things or she'll stop coming to the hospital altogether. At least when she's here every week you know she's alive and you can keep a sort of eye on her.  
“I really worry that the next time I see you will be in the morgue, Amber. You have the means to get that key done without him knowing right now, but if he tightens his grip on you it will be too late. Please, please do it as soon as you can. You have my number in your phone?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. Call it any time, especially if you decide to get out. I can organise a place for you in a refuge but not until you're ready to take it.”  
She nods.   
“Here you go, cup of tea for my clumsy girl,” a man's voice says from the doorway. He sounds so nondescript it turns your stomach to think he could be any man, anyone's husband or brother or son. You much preferred the time before you started your degree, safe behind the naïve assumption that all abusers fitted a particular stereotype, that wife-beaters could be spotted a mile away. Now you know better and wish you didn't.   
“Just buzz if you need anything, ok?” you say to Amber before turning to him.  
“Is everything ok?” he asks you, his cold grey eyes flicking from Amber to you and back again.  
“Absolutely, I was just checking if your wife needed any medications. I work in the pharmacy,” you give him your usual cover for these situations without missing a beat but he looks suspicious anyway.   
“She doesn't. We'll be leaving soon. Right, honey?”  
“Yeah, doc says my lungs and everything important are ok. I just need to rest my ribs and stay off ladders.”  
“I told you to leave the important jobs to me, didn't I?”  
She forces a smile. “I'll listen next time. No more painting for me.”

As you walk away to file your report you pray to whoever will listen that she does follow your suggestions before it's too late, the frustration of not being able to help further making your fists clench until your arms ache. He's already been arrested once and then released when Amber refused to cooperate or give evidence.

You're standing at the nurses' station flicking through Amber's chart when a familiar scent greets you and you snap your head around to find Bucky behind you.   
“Hey,” he says, threading his arms around your waist and kissing the top of your head.  
“Hi. What are you doing here?”  
“I had the afternoon off and it's too quiet at home.”  
You turn in his embrace. “Bucky, I love you and I appreciate the visit but it's not a great time right now. I'm swamped.”  
“Anything I can help with? Have you eaten?”  
“Yeah, I had half a sandwich and maybe I'll get to the rest before dinner. I'm sorry, babe.”  
“It's fine...” he trails off and releases you as Amber approaches, huddled over and clutching her purse.  
“I just wanted to thank you for everything,” she says to you. “I'll take your advice this time, I promise.”  
“You have my number, please use it. And stay safe.”  
“I'll try.” She leaves abruptly after spotting her husband returning in the lift to take her home.   
“Who was that?” Bucky asks.  
“A patient I can't talk about but hope to never see again. Unfortunately I think I'll be seeing her soon.”  
“You know her husband is beating the shit out of her, right?”  
“Why do you think I'm involved?”  
He tenses visibly, his chest pushing out and hands clenching tight. “Guy needs to be taught a lesson.”  
“Not your call, Bucky.” He huffs and you look up at him sternly. “Don't. Do you understand me? Just don't.”  
He grunts again in response. “When are you coming home?”  
“Before dinner, I hope. I'm sorry, I wish I could stop and hang out with you for a bit but I've got three patients I haven't even seen yet.” You reach up on your toes to kiss him quickly. “How's Steve?”  
“Still not saying much. Not actively ignoring me, though.”  
“That's something I guess. I have to get back to work, babe.”  
“Yeah, ok,” he says absently, obviously already thinking about something else. “I might go for a run, clear my head a bit. Give me a call when you're done and I'll walk you home.”

You're dealing with the last job for the day – finding temporary accommodation for the children of a single mother who's been admitted for emergency surgery – when you're paged back to reception in the ED for Amber again.  
“What's going on?” you ask, fearing the worst when you see police officers at the door.  
“Amber isn't the patient, her husband is. It looks like she got some of her own back. She's in the waiting room if you want to speak with her.”  
It's a relief to see she isn't any worse off than a few hours ago, although she doesn't have an explanation for her husband's state.  
“He went out for groceries and then the hospital called me. Apparently he was attacked on the way home.”  
“Like mugged?”  
“Yeah, only he still has his wallet and phone.”  
“How bad are his injuries?”  
“Broken nose and cheek, a few ribs.”  
“Tell me you didn't do this, Amber,” you ask seriously.  
“Do I look like I could inflict that? And I'd have to have a death wish. I might be a bit deluded about our relationship but I have no doubt he'd murder me if I did that to him.”  
While you're occupied being impressed that she's admitting to a problem, you finally put the final piece in the puzzle and begin to develop a theory. It's not a pleasant one and it makes your stomach lurch and turn over on itself.  
“What did you do?” you demand as soon as Bucky answers his phone.

 


	10. Constitution

Before you even open your eyes you can feel your stomach heave, you clamp a hand over your mouth and run for the bathroom; by the time Bucky returns from his run an hour later you're tucked up in bed and have already called in sick. Your entire body aches and even though your stomach is well and truly empty it's still trying to turn itself inside out.  
“Poor baby doll,” he says, placing a cool cloth on your forehead. “I'll stay and take care of you today.”  
“I'm fine.” You wave him away with a weak hand. “Occupational hazard.”  
“I don't mind, a day in bed with you sounds nice.”  
“You're doing this for 3 reasons. One, you're tired of seeing Steve and still missing him because you can't touch him. Two, you love nothing more than a lazy day in bed. And three, you think it will get you off the hook for your behaviour yesterday. It won't.”  
“I'm doing it to take care of you because I love you, actually. And I have nothing to get off the hook for, I will not apologise for what I did.”

Even as you're opening your mouth you wonder why you're starting the roundabout conversation again, but for some reason you do.   
“You could have compromised my position and my safety, I'm the only one who knows about the abuse. You might have made it a hundred times worse for Amber, he's going to think she told you. That's without even mentioning the shit you'd be in with the cops.”  
“I won't, he doesn't know who I am. I doubt he'll lay a hand on her again and he should count himself lucky the cops would have it in for me because that's the only reason he doesn't have a metal fist jammed so far up his ass he can taste it!”  
“You're impossible! Go to work, I'm only going to sleep all day.”  
You turn over and tuck the covers under your chin, closing your eyes and willing sleep to help you through the dreaded stomach flu that's been going around the hospital.

When you wake a few hours later the smell of toast hits your nose and you spend a few moments confused before hearing Bucky singing to himself in the kitchen. As you're sitting up he wanders in, shirtless with his sweatpants so low on his hips you can see the muscled 'V' pointing below his navel. His hair is wound back in a low bun with stray pieces framing his face, coarse stubble spattered over his jaw and chin. For all the time you've been together, how often you've seen him naked and vulnerable and in the combat gear you love so much, having him casual and relaxed like this still makes your heart race and a flush warm your face.

Maybe you're just feverish.

He sits on the edge of the bed beside you and strokes a lock of hair back from your face to feel your forehead.   
“How're you feeling, doll?”  
“Ok, I think. Kind of hungry, that toast smells really good. Am I hot?”  
“Always,” he says with a grin. “Nah, I don't think you have a fever. Do you think it's a good idea to eat yet?”  
“Yep.” You sit up and take a bite out of the slice in his hand. “You really didn't have to stay home.”  
“I was worried about you, I hate it when you're sick. And think of all the times you've taken care of me.”  
“That's 'cause you're a klutz who trips on his own feet in the middle of a mission. And yet leaping through the air and all sorts of acrobatics are never a problem.” You roll your eyes thinking of all the times Steve has told you of Bucky's parkour-like skills when he gives chase, only to catch his target and fall over his feet on the next step. The heels of his hands and bottom of his chin are permanently pink from all the times they've caught him on concrete and you've put more bandaids on grazed knees than your mother ever did.  
“Steve called, he wants you to call him back when you're up to it, said he might come over later.”  
“I'd stay sick for a month if it got him back here.”  
“Yeah. Me too.”  
He fixes the pillows behind your back so you can keep eating and get comfy, cuddling up to you in silence. You know he's thinking about Steve, you're both missing him so much it hurts but you promised to give him space until he was ready. For Bucky it cuts deeper, seeing his love heartbroken over another man even while you're sharing his bed.   
“Fuck, I miss him so goddamn much,” he says, kissing the top of your head.  
You nod and feel tears sting your eyes, burying your face in Bucky's shoulder.

By the afternoon you're feeling almost back to normal and decide to call Steve while Bucky is out getting you some dry crackers and lemonade. He insists on coming straight over to see for himself.  
“It's just a virus, Steve. I'm fine.”  
“You know we worry about you.”  
“Because I'm the one risking my life all the time.” You roll your eyes. “How are you?”  
“I'm... you know...” He forces a smile but his eyes give away his sadness.  
“I miss you, baby. We miss you.”  
“I miss you, too.”  
“So come home. Bucky made a mistake, he didn't mean for that to happen.”  
“I know he didn't, I'm not mad at him anymore.”  
“Good, then come home.”  
“I don't think I can, sugar. This sneaking around like we're doing something wrong, it's taking its toll. And it's not who I am.”  
“You don't have to hide it anymore.”  
“But I do, because it still... that doesn't feel like me, either. Put aside the three of us for a minute, how do I tell the world that I'm in love with Bucky?”  
“You don’t have to tell the world, Steve! Only those of us who care aboue you need to know,” you plead, taking his hands tight in yours.  
Steve sighs and shakes his head. “Intimate relationships are discouraged in the military for a reason, it puts your unit at risk because your judgement is affected by emotion. Never mind all the jokes about us being gay, which never really hurt before because I didn't think they were true. And then, top all of that off with 'oh and by the way, we share a girlfriend. My life is a three way.’ No one would give a crap what good we did, they'd just want to talk about my sex life. Everything would change.”  
Like a boiling pot with its lid on you can't sit still any longer, you drop his hands and move to the window to hide the tears that threaten to spill onto your cheeks. “So you'll just leave us? Just like that? You can't say you love me or Bucky and then just walk away.”  
“You don't think this hurts me?” he raises his voice just a fraction and his fists clench.   
“I don't know, Steve. You say it does but your actions tell a different story.”

Steve slumps heavily onto the couch and rubs his face, watching you in silence for a few minutes. When he speaks again he’s tentative and quiet.  
“They’ll think Bucky pulled me out of that wreck because he loves me.”  
“I don’t understand,” you say with a frown. “Of course he did.”  
“What if he went past the other two to get me out first, if he could have done something for them but he only saw me? There’s no way to be sure. Once that sort of seed is planted in people’s minds it doesn’t go away.”  
“I don’t know what to tell you except that you’ve proven time and again that your intention is always honest and ethical. And whatever anyone thought they’d get over it.”  
He looks down at his lap and shakes his head and you feel panic bubbling in your stomach, realising he might have already made up his mind and no amount of convincing will change it. When Steve digs in his heels arguing with him is a losing battle; he’ll either change his mind on his own or he won’t.  
“We love you, Steve. Don’t you think for a second that if you walk out we’ll just pick up our relationship where we left off, you need to know there are consequences. You are breaking Bucky and me solely because you care about what other people think.”  
“It’s my job to care!” he snaps.  
“When does the great Steve Rogers get to care about himself and those he loves over everyone else?”  
“That’s not fair,” he warns.   
“You’re right, it’s not. If you make this choice you don’t get to go back to broody little shit Steve who wears the world on his shoulders and left his heart frozen in the ice.” You cross back to him and lay a hand on his chest, waiting for his gaze to meet yours. “You’ve been so different these last months, so much lighter, you’ve got a sparkle in your eyes. This _is_ you, Steve. All your life you’ve fought it, been trying to prove everything to everyone, to _be_ everything to everyone. Maybe it’s time to be a bit selfish and just be right here, for you and for us. I’m not saying give it all up, you can find a balance and make it all work together.”  
“I don’t know how to do that.”

When Bucky returns you're leaning on the kitchen bench with your head in your hands trying to stem the flow of tears and make a cup of tea.   
“What's wrong, doll? Feelin' sick again?”  
“No,” you choke out. “Wait... yes.”  
This time he's right behind you, fastening your hair back and holding you in his lap when you're done, with a wet cloth for your face.  
“What happened?”   
“Steve came over.”  
Since he left without being convinced you can feel him slipping through your fingers and the tighter you try to hold him to more he digs in his heels. Steve Rogers doesn't change his mind for anyone, you know he has to decide for himself but you feel helpless just letting him walk out the door like he did.   
“And?” Bucky asks anxiously.   
You shake your head and stand up. “And he left again. No more to say, really.”  
“Shit.” He stands up and tosses the cloth into the hamper before leading you back to the bedroom and tucking you in.

You don't wake up until the following morning and suddenly it's groundhog day with another half an hour spent in the bathroom vomiting before you manage a shower. While you're under the water Bucky comes home from his run and joins you.  
“Feeling any better?”  
“I am now, I think that was the last of it. I have to go in to work today so I'll get checked out while I'm there. If I'm sick they'll send me home otherwise I'll be clear to work.”   
Such is the down side to working in a hospital, if you're sick they still want to see for themselves and make the call. Bucky kneads your shoulders in an attempt to release some of the ache from yesterday, but it doesn't do anything for the ache in your chest.  
“I'm coming with you.”  
“Bucky, I go there every day. I know the way.”  
“I know that, doll,” he says patronisingly with a forced smile. “I want to make sure you're ok and don't get sick on the way. Can't I take care of my girl once in a while?”  
“Ok,” you say with an exaggerated sigh. Sometimes you forget how he likes to be your hero.

“Doll?” he says on the way there. “I'm sorry about the other day, for trying to teach that guy a lesson. You're right, I didn't think. I just totally lost my shit and I shouldn't have let my emotions get in the way. Is it going to cause you problems?”  
“It shouldn't.” You squeeze his hand. “I know how you feel, I wanted to do the same. But often these guys just take it out on their partner all over again. He thinks she hasn't told anyone and it is imperative we keep it that way until she's ready and it's safe for her to leave. Did you say anything?”  
“No. And I kept my gloves and hat on.”  
“Oh, as long as you're stealthy.” You roll your eyes.   
“I'm sorry.”  
“You're forgiven.”

While waiting for the doctor you feel his eyes on you and look up. “What?”  
“Your tits look amazing today, I just had to put it out there.”  
“Thanks,” you say with a laugh as you're called in to a consult room.  
You're greeted by a nurse you know well from the ED who takes your temperature and blood pressure while making notes on how long you've been unwell and your symptoms.   
“Had your flu shot?”  
“Yes,” you reply. “All my shots are up to date.”  
“Have you been directly exposed to anyone infectious in the last week or two?”  
You think back through your cases, most of them being counselling or arranging in-home care for injuries. “I don't think so, but I know there's a lot going around. I did have one patient with meningitis.”  
“Fortunately I don't think you have meningitis.” She hands you a paper bag with a cup in it for a urine sample and takes some blood when you return.   
“Can I work today?” you ask impatiently. “I feel fine, now.”  
“Let me have a chat to the doctor and get some results back, I'll give you a call in an hour if you want to go for a walk or something.”

Despite the cold air outside you figure some weak sun and fresh air can't do any harm, but when you suggest Bucky goes to work he refuses, instead taking you to the park via the coffee cart.  
“I already explained to Tony, he'll call if they need me.”  
“You can't avoid Steve forever,” you say quietly.   
“Seeing him just... it hurts. We avoided this for so long and now I wonder if we've opened something that will never heal. I don't know how to get him back.”  
“I know,” you say with a sigh. As much as it's breaking your heart feeling Steve pull away, at least you don't still have to be around him every day. You lay your head on Bucky’s shoulder, his arm draped over you while you sip at your coffee. Hard as you try it doesn't taste right and before long it starts to curdle in your stomach until you're looking for a garden just in case it comes back up.   
“You can't go back to work if you can't keep food down,” Bucky chastises. “I'm taking you home.”  
“Food is fine, just the coffee didn't sit right,” you say as he takes your cup and drinks it. “I ate some toast before we left.”  
“Doll, you live on coffee. Something's not right if you can't handle it all of a sudden.”  
You decide it's not worth arguing and let him take you home, but half way there you're called back to the hospital.

 


	11. Abduction

Your feet bounce nervously and Bucky sits in the chair beside you, holding your hand a little too tight. The doctor seems to take forever and while you're waiting and seeing the consult rooms for the first time as a worried patient you start making mental notes about some ways to make it a little less stark and cold. You jump involuntarily when someone else you recognise from consultations in the ED opens the door abruptly – time starts to move as if bound by tar until you feel it might stop altogether.  
“No,” you whisper. _He has to have the wrong room.  
_ “Doll? What's going on?” Bucky asks, looking from you to the doctor and back again.  
“Good to see you again,” he says, shaking your hand and then turning to Bucky. “Doctor Clayton Burgess.”  
“Clay, this is my partner James.”  
“Bucky,” Bucky says as he accepts the handshake, still looking lost.  
“So, you've had some nausea and vomiting? No other symptoms?”  
“None. Clay, please don't dance around it.”  
“All right,” he says with a tight smile. “You're pregnant. When was your last – “  
“She's what?” Bucky says, standing up from his chair. If you thought he was confused a moment ago this is a whole new level, combined with a little pinch of horror.   
“Please sit down, babe,” you plead, waiting until he sits and swipes a hand over his face. “My last period was um...” You reach into your bag for your phone.  
“How do we know who's baby it is?” Bucky says.   
“Can we discuss that at home, please?” you hiss under your breath. Looking from your phone screen to Clay you feel about six inches tall. _How could I be so stupid! I see unplanned pregnancy every fucking day!_ “Shit. Ten weeks ago.”  
“Is your cycle regular?”  
In reply you show him your phone with a list of dates from your tracking app, all exactly 29 days apart, and nod.  
“Good bet you're ten weeks, then. No pain or bleeding?”  
“Nope.”  
“Shit...” Bucky says beside you, apologising when you nudge him. “Sorry, it's just a shock.”  
“This feels like a weird question to ask a social worker,” Clay says. “But would you like to speak to a social worker?”  
“No, thanks.” You give him a weak laugh. “Do you?” you ask Bucky, giving him a wide-eyed questioning stare.  
“I'm really sorry,” he says to both of you with a weak smile. His face is so pale you feel like you should put his head between his legs and tell him to take deep breaths. “I'm not disappointed or anything it's just the last thing I expected. I thought you had the thingy in your arm?”  
“I do.”  
“They do fail on rare occasions, I'll have someone remove it for you before you leave. How long have you had it?”  
“Since Bucky and I... about eighteen months.”  
“Ok. Would you like to discuss options, with someone not known to you if you like?”  
“I... no. I know what they are. We can talk about it at home.”

“What do you mean you're not coming with me?” Bucky says tightly in the foyer.  
“Babe, I love you and I understand you're in shock, but I need to occupy my brain today or I will implode. I'll be home early and we’ll talk about it. Cross my heart.”  
Bucky walks slowly home, his mind racing with questions and uncertainty. You've talked about children on the odd occasion and he knew you wanted to be a mother one day but he'd never considered it might happen so unexpectedly, he believed it wasn't possible while you were on birth control and he wasn't sure what effect the serum had had on his sperm.  
 _Holy fuck, what if it that's why? What if it just made them swim harder?  
_ He groans audibly and scratches at his chin. Someone needs to tell Steve, there's no way to know until it's born who the father is. Only a couple of weeks ago it wouldn't have mattered, but if Steve really is going to leave... does it matter then? Can he raise a child knowing it might not be his flesh and blood but Steve's?  
Of course he can, because he loves you and he loves Steve – that doesn't change because he's not around any more. Whether Steve will allow it might be another question. There's also the issue of whether Bucky is actually capable of raising a child because right now all he can feel is terrified.  
 _I should tell Steve. I'd want to know if the situation were reversed. Only it wouldn't be, because Steve is being a stubborn ass and needs to chill the fuck out._  
He accepts your need for time alone even if he doesn't understand it but he's dying to know what you're thinking, what you're preferred option will be, so he can be mentally prepared. There's only so much shock he can handle in one day and if he's honest there's a little ball of excitement starting to grow in his heart by the time he opens the apartment door.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

You're back in the ED seeing a new patient when it happens. One minute you're called to visit a distraught mother and the next there's cold steel pressed into the small of your back.   
A deep, gruff, male voice makes your blood run cold. “We're gonna walk out of here, nice and calm. You arouse suspicion and I'll pull the trigger, pretty sure you know what follows a GSW through the spine into your abdomen, yeah?”  
You nod.  
“Hand over your phone.”  
With a hand that shakes more than you’d like you pull it from your pocket and hand it over your shoulder. The pungent stench of unfiltered cigarettes makes your stomach lurch and you manage to gesture to the bin right before emptying your lunch into it.   
“Jesus Christ,” he says. “Are you sick?”  
You start to shake your head and think better of it. “Stomach flu is going around.”  
“Fuck.” He sighs heavily. “Bring a bucket, then.”  
You reach up and take a few vomit bags from the rack above your head, your body now starting to tremble and your legs feeling like they might give way.   
“Let's go. You need to tell someone you're leaving?”  
“Yes. At the nurses' station.”  
He keeps the hard end of the pistol against your back, concealed in his sleeve so it looks like a comforting hand.  
“I need to go home, I'm not feeling well,” you say to the nurse behind the desk with a tight smile.  
“You poor thing,” she says, cocking her head ever so slightly to one side. It's of no consequence to the nursing staff whether you leave or not, they just page your service and are assigned whoever is available at the time. “Do you need me to give someone a message?”  
“No. I'll call.” You think for a fleeting moment about your bag still in your locker and your half-eaten lunch on the table in the common room, but the end of the pistol is pushed against you again.

Panic doesn't set in until you're in the back of a black SUV with windows so heavily tinted you can barely make out the people on the street. You assume if they were going to kill you they'd have done so already but your brain immediately starts recalling case files, wondering who you might have helped that would make someone else mad enough to kidnap you.  
If this is actually a kidnap. Maybe they just want to take you somewhere quiet for a random execution. Or worse.   
One man drives, the other sits in the back with you. Both wear dark glasses and the one with you wears a black suit and black button down shirt without a tie, his deep brown hair clipped close to the scalp revealing a tattoo behind his ear, still dark and fresh with the skin around it pink and inflamed.

The tattoo is a game changer. It's tiny and wouldn't mean anything to anyone else but you recognise it immediately from Bucky and Steve's work files.   
_Hydra._  
You try to watch where you're going while recalling what Steve and Bucky have told you to do if anything should happen to you.  
 _Sit tight. Do what they say. Pay attention to your surroundings but don't do anything heroic, we'll get you. We’ll always get you._  
They don't know you're missing though, and your shift wasn't due to finish for another few hours. Work won't suspect anything because you said you were sick.  
“May I ask a question?” you ask quietly.  
“You're not gagged. Don't know if I'll answer,” he says gruffly. You see the pistol still pointing at you from his jacket.  
“I'm locked in a car, could you not point the gun at me?” Bucky would cringe at you calling it a gun when you can identify the type even from this distance, but you don't want to give away anything, assuming it's best to play dumb. Your brain seems to be functioning far better than you'd expect despite your insides twisting around on themselves and your heart trying to break out of your chest.   
“If you behave,” he says, lowering it slightly so it’s aimed at the seat cushion. “Is that your question?”  
“No. My question is what's going on?”  
“We're holding you for ransom. Somethin' money can't buy but your boyfriend will make sure we get.”  
“Which boyfriend?”  
His backhand slap is so fast you don't see it coming until your head snaps to the side. “Don't get smart with me, bitch. You're dead body is worth as much to Barnes as alive.”  
You stay silent as tears sting at your eyes, refusing to let them escape as your cheek and jaw begin to throb. That was a painful way to get the answer but you got it, and at least Bucky will know what's happened.

By seven that evening Bucky is anxiously chewing his nails and pacing the loungeroom as he dials your number again.   
“Baby, please call me back. I know I didn't react well today but I promise I've recovered from the shock now. I love you and want to talk about what we're going to do. Please call me or text so I know you're ok, I'm really worried.”  
He paces a few minutes after this, he's already sent texts and tried to call numerous times and is wondering if you got sick at the hospital. After waiting on the phone for fifteen minutes while they try paging you and then search the hospital fear begins to gnaw at his stomach.   
_Something isn't right._  
  
  


Bucky wasn’t certain Steve would answer the door when he showed up but as soon as he told him you were missing he invited him in and started pacing.  
“I'm sure she's fine,” Steve says. “She's always on at us for worrying about her, she can handle herself. Maybe she had a nap?”  
“Then why would her phone be off? Something's wrong, Steve. I don't know what but something has happened.”  
“What do you suggest we do, exactly? We can't do anything without going through the proper channels anymore.”  
Bucky recalls his warning after confronting Amber's partner and cringes. “Surely Tony has some contacts.”  
“I think she'll just turn up and we'll all look stupid.”  
“Damn it, Steve! Remember when you trusted my gut as much as your own? She promised to be home early today.”  
Steve holds his hands up in surrender and it occurs to Bucky that he might be overreacting but he doesn’t know the whole story and he doesn’t want to tell him you’re pregnant unless he has to. Not yet.   
“All right, we'll go talk to Tony.”  
But Tony is nowhere to be found and not answering his cell. Their next option is Nat but they're unable to locate her, either.

“What's going on?” Sam asks when he runs into them in the hall. “First Bruce and Rhodey are acting weird now you two.”  
“Weird how, exactly?” Bucky asks.  
“I dunno, they've gone off to take care of something with Tony, that's all they'd tell me. What are you up to?”  
“Bucky's girlfriend is missing,” Steve says, earning him a burning stare from Bucky. “She didn't come home from work and she's not at the hospital.”  
Sam looks from Steve to Bucky and back again but whatever he's thinking he doesn't voice it. “You're sure she's not just working late?”  
“Yeah, I can just feel something not right. She promised me she'd be home early and her cell phone is off. Her cell phone is never off.”  
“Why don't we go to the hospital and check for ourselves, then?” Sam says.   
“That's what I'm thinking,” Bucky replies.

About half way there Sam stops in front of them, turning to face Steve and Bucky.  
“Can we just clear the air? I said some stupid shit, I put my nose in your business and I made assumptions. I want to apologise for any grief I caused by that and walking in on you like I did. What you guys do at home is your business and you seemed really happy up until the other day, so... yeah.”  
“Thanks,” Bucky says. “I get that you were just looking out for us.”  
“Obviously I got completely the wrong idea.”  
“Sort of, you were spot on about the way they look at each other.”  
“Yeah, at least now I know they're not getting it on behind your back.”  
“Not without permission.” Bucky laughs and Sam quickly joins in.  
“Can we focus, please?” Steve snaps.

A little sweet-talking from Sam gets the trio through the security entrance to the emergency department and from there they easily locate your locker in the common room while Sam continues down the hall to speak with someone from security. Steve is just pulling out your bag and rifling through it for your phone when one of the nurses walks in and they all freeze.  
“This... isn't what it looks like,” he says with a nervous smile.  
“It looks like she forgot her purse when she left earlier,” she says. “I'm not sure why it takes three of you to retrieve it, though. Is she feeling better?”  
“I'm sorry,” Bucky says. “Have you seen her? We don't know where she is.”  
“Who are you?”  
“Bucky. Her boyfriend.”  
“Oh. That's... awkward. She went home just after lunch, said she wasn't feeling well. I assumed the man with her was – “  
“Wait,” Steve interrupts. “There was a man with her? What did he look like?”  
“Tall, dressed in a dark suit. Pretty well built. I did think it was a bit strange she was telling me she was leaving but she said she'd call her department head later on.”  
“And then she left?” Bucky asks.  
“Straight out through the ambulance bay.”  
“If it has we'll find her. Thanks.”  
“There are cameras all over the doors if that helps.”  
“Already on it,” Sam interjects from the doorway, holding his phone so they can see the CCTV footage rolling on his screen.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

You sit quietly in the corner on the threadbare mat separating you from the cold concrete floor. Occasionally you hear voices from upstairs – you think up to three or four but it's difficult to be sure, this room was obviously designed to muffle as much sound as possible. You've long lost track of the time and with no windows you're not even sure if it's afternoon or night. When this began you were determined they wouldn't break you but now, stripped down to your underpants and shivering against the cold with your stomach violently protesting its emptiness the fear is taking hold.

All your captors have told you is that they want something from Tony and they know Bucky will make him give it up – but as the hours pass you're less and less convinced that Bucky can actually do that. After all, Stark does what Stark wants and comes close to Steve in the stubbornness stakes. Why would he allow a weapon of such importance into Hydra's hands just to save you? Do they know you're missing yet, or are you to rot here a couple of days and nights first? So many questions, so many possibilities, and you're just so tired.

 


	12. Compensation

“Go get some rest, Sam. I don't think there's much more we can do until we speak with Tony,” Steve says from the table in his room as he watches the footage again.   
“OK but if anything goes down you come get me.”  
“We will. Thanks.”  
“Just so you know if you were in the mood for jokes I'd put my momma voice on and say 'boys, you keep this door open and no funny business, understand?' But I imagine you're not.”  
For the first time that evening they both laugh softly and share a smile before Steve speaks. “Thanks, Sam. Truly.”

“I'll go wait upstairs for Tony and you can sleep.” Bucky says a while later, stifling a yawn.  
“As if I'm going to sleep!” Steve snaps. “I love her too, Buck. I'm sorry I doubted you earlier but don't assume I don't care.”  
“I know you do, Stevie. I just mean I don't want to go home so I'll wait up for Tony. I do better without rest than you do.”  
That makes Steve's mouth crack into a smile. “Bullshit.”  
Bucky chuckles. “I'm going.”  
“Are you sure? I mean, you could...” Steve trails off and looks around his quarters, Bucky following his gaze. The couch is clearly too small for either of them, the only other option is the bed.   
“I'm sure,” Bucky says as he opens the door. “I'll come get you as soon as something happens.”  
He lets the door close slowly, hesitantly.   
“Bucky?” Steve calls through the last crack.  
“Hm?” he leans on the door handle, willing Steve to say what he wants to hear. “We'll find her, right?”  
“Yeah,” he sighs. “We will.”

Far below them, in the depths of the earth beneath the Avengers tower where Tony houses and tests his most confidential projects, a tense discussion is carried on between Tony, Rhodey, and Bruce. He rarely trusts anyone else with this kind of idea and these are the men who act as his conscience when he doesn't trust his own.   
“So what's the plan? I assume you're not going to give it to them,” Rhodey says.   
“Of course not. I hope it never sees the light of day, and it sure as hell won't be used on earth while I'm still breathing.”  
“Why develop it, then?” Bruce asks.  
“After the Chitauri I realised how ridiculously unprepared we were and I didn't trust SHIELD. I wanted to know I had my own security measures that I didn't need ten people's signature to use.”  
“So... what's the plan?” he asks again.  
“I don't know. The way I see it we have a couple of options. Locate them and take them out, probably resulting in the girl being killed, somehow let them think they have what they want and get her back safely, or negotiate and pay them off.”  
“I don't think you can pay off Hydra,” Bruce says, shaking his head.   
“I doubt we can fool them, either,” says Rhodey.   
“So we find them and shoot the place up. So to speak. Get Bucky's girl out first.”  
“Why this girl? Why not Pepper?”  
“They see Bucky as a loose cannon. He'd give up the tech in a heartbeat to get her back, and they know it. That's why I haven't told him.”  
“So no Bucky on this one, what about Rogers?”  
“I'm not sure, I think he'd be easily persuaded to do whatever Bucky wanted. I thought perhaps he could keep Bucky occupied while the rest of us get the job done. We know where most of Hydra's safehouses are, it's just a matter of finding the right one. Whatever is left isn't at full strength, I doubt there's more than a couple of men guarding her.”  
“We'd be a lot faster with a full team,” Bruce says. “I don't think you're giving either of them enough credit.”  
“I think you're forgetting the time I had to stay behind when the same happened to Pepper.”  
“Didn't stop you, though,” Rhodey says under his breath.

Bucky stands relaxed but ready, just an inch from the wall outside Tony's huge double doors. To the untrained eye he appears half asleep, his eyes cast downward and arms folded across his chest, his legs separated and bent just enough to keep the weight on his heels. His mind is quiet, focused on the sound around him and searching for any sign of someone approaching. The only objective is to get you back, whatever that takes is inconsequential, any collateral damage essential to the mission is acceptable to his conscience.

Upon hearing footsteps there is no change to his calm exterior, but inside the gears of his brain work frantically on scenarios, quickly discerning that those aren't Tony's rapid footfalls, they're heavy and hesitant. He knows that pattern.  
“Buck?” Steve says softly when Bucky doesn't look up as he approaches.  
“What's up?” He turns his head to look at Steve as he leans on the wall.   
“Couldn't sleep. Couldn't lie still. Couldn't do anything useful, thought I might as well just come and wait with you.”  
“Nothing useful happening here, either.”   
A few minutes pass in silence, both men standing at the ready as though guarding something precious behind the closed door.  
“I was gonna ask you to stay. I wanted to.” Steve's voice is so small that as he moves to put them face to face Bucky half expects to be presented with the pre-serum version. “It just... felt wrong to be comforted when she's...” he trails off and Bucky looks up through his lashes without lifting his head.   
“I get it, it's fine.”  
“It's not. I should never have put her in this situation, this is why-”  
Bucky claps a hand over Steve's mouth so fast he's got his fingers at Bucky's throat in a split second, which he quickly relaxes.  
“Don't you fucking dare take responsibility for this. Firstly, she went into this with open eyes. She doesn't want to live under protection and we could never have known they'd go after her. Secondly, they took her because of me. You don't think I feel enough like a piece of shit without you piling on the guilt as well?”

Bucky releases Steve and starts pacing up and down the hall, willing him to go back to his quarters without being asked. If he asks Steve to go he'll feel like an asshole but the whole truth is about to fly out and hit him between the eyes like a well-aimed bullet if they continue to argue.  
“Was it a mistake, do you think? Admitting our feelings?” Steve asks. The tremor in his usually confident tone makes Bucky want to crush him against his chest but his words are like a knife across his throat.  
Bucky stops pacing but doesn’t answer, leaning on the rail at the end of the hall and staring out into the night while the city below carries on oblivious to their turmoil. Silence separates them more than space in the short corridor, neither game to break it in fear of the other’s reaction. Finally he turns and sees his friend, his lover, his constant whenever his mind was his own, the man he has loved since long before he knew how to express it; or that he shouldn’t. Steve has let his head fall back against the wall, his arms folded tight across his broad chest as though restraining himself. For the first time since he moved out of their home Bucky sees not the stoic Captain America with conviction and utter confidence in the black and white of the good fight, but a very broken Steve Rogers who finds himself lost in a foreign expanse of grey.

“No,” Bucky says, walking slowly back toward Steve. “Admitting the feelings that have always been there; kissing you; holding you; making love to you; growing this beautiful, loving home with both of you... No. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Stevie. Some were mine alone, some I was merely the instrument playing the wrong tune. I’ve had a lot of time to atone for it all and had to accept that I never will, some people will always see me that way.” He stops in front of Steve so their faces almost touch, blue eyes drowning in blue. “But this? This was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not me the Sargeant, the Winter Soldier, the Avenger everyone’s still a little wary of... Me, the man. The human who fucks up and falls over his feet, who can’t keep his hands to himself, who always wants to sleep on your right because cuddling you with the metal side is a wasted opportunity. The man who’s just trying to make up for lost time instead of wishing we were back there because frankly, Stevie, it sucked balls. Yeah, for a while I missed scrappy little Steve who never won a fight but never backed down, either. I wished for all that time back so I could see what I missed out on, but we don’t belong there any more. You asked me how I could just not care what people think, what they might be saying behind my back. I murdered people, executed them. Some of them were completely innocent. If I gave a shit what people were thinking I’d have emptied a clip into my brain the second you gave me a weapon.” He draws a shaky breath. “You tell me, was it a mistake? Is it?”  
Steve wants so desperately for Bucky to just lean in and cover his mouth so he can’t answer, to force the response directly from his tongue, but he doesn’t budge. For the first time in his life Bucky stands back and lets Steve finish this one on his own, baiting him by leaning back when he inches closer to his lips, stepping back when he reaches for him. At first Steve is angry, his fists clenching in readiness even though the fight won’t be physical. If this is what Bucky wants – if he wants it half as badly as Steve – why won’t he just let him? Bucky taunts him by licking and biting his lips until they’re plump and rosy, glistening as he parts them and swipes his tongue over once more without breaking eye contact.

With a groan of frustration Steve has him pinned against the opposite wall, his fingers threaded into Bucky’s and pressing them back against the plaster, his thigh planted firmly against his groin. Bucky’s eyes never leave Steve’s but they light up at this and he contains his smile to a tiny curl in the corner of his mouth.   
_There’s my scrappy little runt, I knew he was still in there.  
_ The kiss is messy and urgent, an uncoordinated battle of tongues and teeth, a lot like the skirmishes Bucky would have rescued him from in the past. Not this time, though. Steve rolls his hips forward and releases Bucky’s hands, weaving his fingers into Bucky’s hair to tip his head back and deepen the claiming of his mouth. Bucky moans around Steve’s tongue, pulling behind his neck in the hope that he never stops.

The first booted footstep shatters their liaison but when Nat rounds the corner Steve still has hold of Bucky’s waist and neck.   
“You two really need to get your own room,” she says with a smirk. “If you don’t want the world to know you might not want to do that right outside Tony’s door.”  
“Do you know where he is?” Bucky asks, ignoring her quips. “We need his help.”  
“Assuming you’ve tried knocking on the door, I have no idea. What’s going on?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The light that filters down the stairs to your basement cell is blinding, even the shimmering dust seems to flee. You hug your knees a little tighter to your chest, the wall behind your bare back a few degrees warmer thanks to your escaping body heat.   
“Hungry?” the same now familiar man says as he unlocks the door.   
You shake your head but wonder if vomiting whatever he has on offer might be preferable to your own stomach lining.   
“Suit yourself. Have some water at least. I hear dehydration is a pretty awful way to go.” He sets a child-sized plastic cup down on the floor beside you. Idly you wonder if there are children here, or if the cup was purchased with you in mind. “It seems your honey either isn’t getting the message or doesn’t really care what we do with you. They’re refusing to cooperate.”  
 _They have a plan,_ you reassure yourself. _They always have a plan._  
He continues when you don’t look up. “Tony Stark sure as hell doesn’t care, although he did try to buy you back. Typical Stark thinks money can solve everything. Maybe we send a little teaser straight to your boyfriend, hm?” You hear the clicks of the touch screen as he prepares his phone and then the shutter sound effect. “Come on now, don’t you wanna pose a bit? Open your legs? Smile for daddy?”  
Bile burns the back of your throat and it’s all you can do to swallow it back down. The light gives you a good look at your skin and you can see you’re covered in purple bruises from being pushed around on the way down here, thrown to the floor when they shoved you inside the cell, more still from the pressure of the hard concrete floor.  
“Suit yourself,” he says as he locks the door again. “If he doesn’t respond this time me and you are gonna have a little fun. I almost hope he doesn’t.”  
As soon as you’re cast into darkness once more you spit into the vomit bag and let the tears come thick and fast. Everything aches and you’re still so desperate for sleep but now even when you try it won’t come without the jerking fits of an overwrought mind and body to wake you every few minutes. Instead you lay a cold hand low on your abdomen and wonder what the boys are doing while listening intently to anything your straining ears can pick up – birds, traffic, sets of footsteps, anything that might help you get yourself out if you have to. Somewhere in the distance a clock chimes eight times and the sound is strangely comforting, as though it connects you to the city and your boys.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Natasha tosses a thick folder onto the table, startling both Steve and Bucky in their coffee-fueled state. Tony sits at the other end, discussing what they know about remaining Hydra cells with Rhodey.  
“That’s all the Hydra safe houses we know about, maybe a quarter of the total.”  
“That’s better than nothing,” Sam says from behind his laptop. “I’m going through traffic cameras from yesterday.”  
“Should I ask how you obtained that footage?” Tony asks.  
“You could, but I wouldn’t tell you.”  
Bucky’s phone sends out a loud alert with a new message and he scrambles to retrieve it from the bench where it’s charging. Only Steve hears the gasp torn from his throat, sees him clap a hand over his mouth and collapse onto a barstool.   
“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.  
Bucky just hands him the phone and lets his head fall forward into Steve’s chest, his shoulders shaking silently.  
“Oh, god. Oh, baby girl.” Steve wraps his arms tight around Bucky and rubs his back while holding out the picture of you on Bucky’s phone, bruised and battered and curled up in a ball in the murky light.   
Natasha grimaces. “We have to get to her. Good thing she’s tough.”  
Bucky stands and starts pacing, scrubbing at his tear-stained cheeks as though the moisture is a personal affront to his character. “We gotta go now. Let's just start with the closest ones and work our way out,” he says, lifting the folder of safehouses from the table.  
“That would take weeks, Buck. We're doing everything we can.” Steve squeezes his shoulder.  
“She shouldn't be just wasting away and practically naked, she must be so cold and frightened.”  
“She's hanging in there, probably better than we'd think.”  
Bucky fists and releases his hands and draws a shuddering breath to steady his voice. “Steve, she's - ”  
Bruce bursts dramatically into the room like he belongs on a police procedural program. “Chiming clocks! Narrow the search to places near chiming clocks, there's one in the phone call with Tony.”

 


	13. Gumption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for physical / sexual assault. It's short, but it's there.

You're certain there's only one left, now. His footsteps are the only ones you've heard in hours and there haven't been any other voices you can discern. The clock in the distance is sounding four pm and you've been here more than 24 hours, now. Right when the last tone sounds the door is opened and again the specks of dust flee the harsh light as he makes his way toward you.  
“We’re gonna kick this up a notch.” He drags a chair down the concrete basement floor outside your cell, the wood legs screaming and scratching in the dust. For a few seconds he stills and makes something you can’t see happen on his phone, setting it down with the screen facing you until you see your pallid reflection and swollen face on it. When he’s satisfied he removes his jacket and drapes it carefully over the back of the chair but you want so badly to beg for it around your shoulders, to promise the most vulgar of favours if you can just feel something warm on your frozen skin and brittle bones.

“Turn around,” he says as he unlocks the door. “Hands on the bars.”  
You grip them until your knuckles ache and turn white, forcing yourself to relax as you feel him approach, his hot breath on your skin causing your mouth to fill with stomach acid. His stubby fingers push your panties down off your hips and they settle in the dust on the floor as he unfastens the button and zip on is jeans, groaning as he pulls his penis out and strokes it. A voice in your head is screaming but you squash it down, remind it that everything will be all right, pet and soothe it like a trembling kitten until it curls up and falls silent. There are things you’re willing to endure to avoid harm, it’s a conversation that inevitably comes up when you live with two war veterans. Unimaginable horrors, physical and psychological trauma, you have a long list of things you’d do to ensure your own safety.

Rape isn’t one of them.

You’re weakened and delirious with exhaustion, but you have the benefit of being trained by the boys and listening well to their stories. _Save your energy and choose your moment wisely. You’ll only get one._ As his calloused hands denigrate your skin you breathe slowly and focus on selecting that moment.  
_Breathe._  
Use your elbows, don’t bother with fists or trying to kick higher than your hips.  
Breathe.  
Go for a soft spot – groin, throat, solar plexus, face.  
Breathe.  
Then run. Don’t stay to win, just hit and get out. 

A tiny sob escapes your torn up throat when he violates you with his fingers.  
“You like that, don’t you?” he hisses beside your ear as you stretch your arms above your head and grip the bars until your fingers cramp. “Yeah... bet he whores you out to all the others, too.”  
With a nauseating crunch you bring your right elbow down and back, hitting him square in the face and spattering his blood onto your neck and shoulder. As he bends and clutches his face you turn and use the bars to stabilise your back while you bring a knee up into his groin, making him fall to his knees on the concrete. There’s no time to be satisfied by the way he retches and spits blood onto the floor, you pull the door closed behind you and run on unsteady legs to the stairs, tripping and grazing your shin on the splintered wood half way up.  
“You’re gonna pay for that, bitch.”  
_Run, and don’t look back. Don’t ever look back.  
_ You don’t need to see him to know the door is open just as you’re slamming the one at the top of the stairs. Finding yourself in a living room you don’t recall seeing you scan around for the door, finally spotting it at the end of a short hall. Your fingers fumble with two locks as you grab a coat from the rack beside and sling it over your shoulder, but the last lock is a deadbolt and needs a key. You want to scream and bang your fists on it, cry because you’ve used the last of your energy and can’t take another step, lie down and kick like a toddler because it’s not fair. But adrenaline propels you on, into the furthest room where you close the door slowly and silently behind you, sighing with relief when it doesn’t creak.

In the small bathroom you secure the flimsy lock on the handle, knowing it will only buy you a few seconds. Blood is trickling from the cuts on your shin onto the tiled floor as you look around for a window and when you see it you want to cry all over again. It’s high above the toilet, short but wide, with a fixed glass panel and a strip of mesh along the top. If you can get up there it will be a tight squeeze to get through, and then there’s the drop back to the ground. You put your arms into the coat and huddle between the bath and shower with your knees cuddled against your chest, the last of your fear-fuelled energy spent.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Having narrowed the most likely options down to two, Tony splits the group between them and takes Wanda and Sam to one while Nat, Bucky, and Steve take the other.  
“We really need to update our intel,” Natasha says, hooking her fingers into the fence surrounding the address they were given.  
The block has been entirely cleared but for the concrete slab and a pile of charred fittings. Steve is on the phone to Tony as they make their way to join the others.  
“Ours was a bust, you have an luck?”  
“Not sure I’d call it luck, but yeah. Backup appreciated.” Tony terminates the call before Steve can respond.  
“Tony has the place,” he says, briefly squeezing Bucky’s hand.

As the car pulls up they’re all on high alert, immediately spotting Tony in the front fully suited up with Wanda and Sam at either side.  
“What’s happening?” Steve asks.  
“I can’t tell,” he says. “But there’s a lot of yelling and banging going on. If it were me I’d just blow the place, but your girl is inside so obviously that’s not an option.”  
“Any other way to get in?”  
“Not that I can see.”  
“You mind if I go look?” Bucky asks, already on his way into the neighbouring yard. He scales the fence and spots a wide rectangular window with jagged glass all the way around, wondering if he might be able to get through it.  
Bucky jumps back down when he hears pounding and yelling, he can make out a male’s voice but no what he’s saying, the thuds of whatever he’s doing inside are enough for him to feel the vibration in the ground.

It’s when he dares another peek over the fence that he spots you, wrapped in a coat clearly made for someone much larger, wriggling yourself out the window.  
“Steve!” he screams, louder than he intended.  
You hear him yell and look up, relief washing over your battered body. You’d all but given up until, after working his way through every other room, your captor began beating and kicking at the door. Apparently the lock wasn’t as flimsy as you thought but you only had a few seconds to make the decision, climbing up on to the cistern and covering your hand in a towel to smash the window. Your only hope now of getting out alive is an opening surrounded by jagged glass which is at least a few centimetres smaller than your body, but you can’t give up now you’re so close. With a crash that shakes the foundations the door splinters into pieces and he closes on you in two long strides, grabbing your ankle and dragging you back through.  
_Not today,_ you think. Kicking free, you rest both sets of toes on the top of the cistern and do your best to swing yourself feet-first through the window, feeling the glass cut through the towels and coat and into your skin as you force yourself into the opening and out the other side, falling with a thud onto the gravel below.

Steve and Bucky are over the fence in one movement, Steve gathering you into his arms while Bucky aims his machine gun at the window and waits. You bury your head in Steve’s chest and jump as the rapid fire pierces he bleak afternoon, sending a flock of birds scattering from a nearby tree.  
“Ok, baby. He’s gone. We’re here, you’re safe.”  
Four strong arms carry you down the side of the house to the front where you meet Wanda, Sam, and Tony who agree to stay and sweep the rest of the house while you and the boys wait for an ambulance. You lay silent as Steve cradles you in his lap, sitting down in the gutter and wrapping you in a thick blanket from the car. Your bleeding hand grips his shirt tight, while Bucky attempts to check you over for other injuries.  
“Just let the paramedics do it,” Steve says. “Does anything hurt, Sugar?”  
“Everything,” you say softly. “And nothing. Because you’re here and it will be ok.”  
“We were so worried,” Bucky says, kissing your forehead and stroking your swollen cheek. “How badly did he hurt you?”  
“Nothing serious. I just want to go home.”  
“We want you home, too, baby girl,” Steve says. “But I’m pretty sure that foot is broken, and you’re bleeding from the glass.”  
You agree to be seen at the hospital on one condition. “Please come home, Steve.”  
“I was already planning on it,” he says, kissing your lips gently. “I’m sorry I was a jerk.”  
“It can all be our secret if you want.”  
“Pretty sure everyone knows now, anyway. It’s ok. I love you both too much to let other people get in the way.”

The paramedics take you directly to the hospital, although you beg them to take you to one you don’t work in. On arrival you’re pried away from the boys to be checked over while they call Tony and various doctors visit to either offer their sympathy or treat you. With x-rays showing a fracture in your foot but nothing broken in your face you’re having your shin, hand, and a few cuts on your abdomen stitched up when Clay the obstetrician peers around the curtain.  
“What happened to you?” he asks, concerned.  
“I... was kidnapped. Don’t want to talk about it but I need to know the baby is ok.”  
“I’ll have them bring you up when you’re done here and we’ll do an ultrasound. Any bleeding or pain?”  
“Nope.”  
“Good sign,” he gives you a thumbs up and leaves while the repairs to your skin are completed and a boot fitted to your foot.

When Sam finds the phone in the basement still recording he skips to the beginning of the video out of curiosity but soon stops it when he sees what’s going to happen. Something tells him to pick it back up, though. His brain tells him to delete it immediately, but first he scans through to where you first hit your captor in the face.  
And he laughs. Steve and Bucky have taught you well.  
Horrific as it is to watch he does, over and over until it’s lost its shock value. He decides to keep it to show the boys later, knowing how proud they’ll be of you. He sees now how proud they must be, and the past day has really confirmed for him how in love you are, that it’s not just a game to any of you. Much as he hates to admit it, he was wrong and should have trusted his friends’ judgement much more than he did. He vows then to get to know you better and make sure you’re part of the group because although at first he wondered if you were only going to cause trouble he now sees that you’re also quite adept at getting yourself out of it.

The boys are surprised when the nurse collects them and walks them out of the emergency department, into an elevator and up a few floors to obstetrics and gynaecology. Bucky doesn’t say anything and keeps his anxiety hidden but Steve fears the worst – the only reason he can think you’d be here is that you were assaulted – so when they enter the room and you’re smiling from ear to ear Steve wonders if he’s missed an inside joke.  
“I have something to show you,” you say weakly as Clay turns the screen so the boys can see.  
“Is everything ok?” Bucky asks, squeezing your hand.  
“Perfectly fine. Little thing is a fighter like its daddy. Daddies.”  
Clay frowns and you realise you’ll have to explain at some point, but not right now.  
“What’s going on?” Steve strokes the hair back from your face, grimacing at the bruising around your eye.  
“We’re having a baby, Steve. I’m pregnant.”  
And suddenly he’s not Captain America, he’s not even the Steve Rogers who rescued you just a couple of hours ago. He’s a man watching the first ultrasound of his unborn child, barely able to believe that something so small could be moving around with that fluttering little heartbeat. He doesn’t say anything, just strokes your hair and kisses your forehead, crying openly while Clay points out the arms, legs, fingers, and toes, the heartbeat.  
Steve tenses and stops stroking. “Is it ok? The heart?”  
“It’s a little early but it looks good. Beating well, pumping blood around like it should.” Clay presses a few keys and then a sound fills the tiny room. “Sounds perfect.”

Steve doesn’t ask questions about how it happened or who is biologically responsible, in fact it’s a few days before he brings it up while you’re lying between them in bed early in the morning.  
“What happened here?” he traces his finger down a short row of stitches where the wound below has already healed, unlike the rest which are still covered with dressings.  
“I had the birth control removed.”  
“Clearly it worked well,” Bucky says with a laugh.  
Steve becomes very quiet.  
“What’s wrong, babe?” you ask as you run your fingers through his hair.  
“I know we can’t work out if it’s mine or Bucky’s without a DNA test.”  
You nod.  
“Do we have to know? I mean, wouldn’t it be amazing if it was just... ours?”  
“I love that idea,” Bucky says, leaning over to kiss Steve.  
“Me too. And I love having you both here where you belong.”

You can hear the smack of their lips from the bathroom and it warms your heart, there hasn’t been a lot of physical activity since the hospital told you to take it easy. From the doorway you watch them kiss and explore for a while, tugging a robe around yourself. Steve pulls Bucky’s body flush against his and takes both of their cocks together in his hand.  
“God, I missed you,” Steve says before kissing him passionately.  
Bucky starts to roll his hips against Steve’s grip, rubbing their cocks together harder and faster.  
“Stevie, I want you,” he says, licking his lips. “I want you inside me.”  
Steve smiles and straddles him while Bucky shifts to his back, spotting you watching from the corner of the room.  
“Come here, doll,” he says, beckoning you with his finger.  
You move over to the bed and rest your back against the headboard, but you’re content to watch Bucky’s first time without participating – they have a lot of making up to do.

Steve warms him up with one then two lubed fingers, occasionally looking to you for reassurance but mostly following what Bucky uses to drive him wild. He smiles when Bucky’s hips jerk up as he hits his prostate and moves back and forth in a steady rhythm until he’s panting and begging for release.  
“Not yet,” Steve says. “You can come but you can’t touch your cock.”  
Bucky’s body is wracked with spasms and Steve withdraws his fingers, dripping more lube around Bucky’s hole and coating his cock.  
Neither of you are used to seeing Bucky so vulnerable, with his legs spread and knees pushed back so his pucker is exposed, covered in lube while his balls twitch and his dick leaks precum onto his abs.  
“You’re so beautiful,” Steve voices your thoughts. “All spread out and desperate.”  
“Fuck me, Stevie,” Bucky says breathlessly.

As he inches inside Steve takes his time caressing the rest of Bucky’s body with his hands, relaxing him with firm fingertips and soft strokes. When he’s fully seated he leans down and kisses his mouth deeply, remaining still while Bucky’s tight hole continues to stretch around his thick cock until Bucky starts to move against him. They make love unhurriedly, the bedroom filled with loving sighs and moans as they approach orgasm together, and when Steve’s thrusts grow forceful you reach between them to fist Bucky’s cock, stroking up and down in time with Steve’s rocking.

Steve sucks in a ragged breath as Bucky coats his stomach with cum, his muscles gripping and releasing Steve rhythmically until he empties himself and collapses on top.  
“Oh my god,” Bucky chants over and over. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” Eventually they both erupt into laughter and you can’t help but laugh with them.  
“That was amazing.” Steve leans in to kiss him and then across to kiss you. He lays his weight down on top of Bucky and sighs heavily. “I love you.”

***~*~*~*~*~*    6 months later     *~*~*~*~*~***

“Would you put that down?” Steve says as you carry a box on your hip.  
“No, I will not. I spent enough of this pregnancy on my ass, there’s no reason I can’t help.”  
“I love your rounder ass, doll,” Bucky says, grabbing it firmly on his way past. “Leave her alone, Stevie. You’re not going to win this one.”  
You’re surrounded by boxes in your new apartment, converted from an unused floor of the Avengers tower. After the kidnap the boys convinced you it was the right move and with a baby on the way your security concerns were heightened at least tenfold, so when Tony suggested making a larger apartment for the four of you it was settled.

There was no big announcement, no speech or formal meeting where Steve and Bucky stood up and said you were all together, the news just sort of wafted around unhindered once they stopped denying it. With Natasha and Sam knowing for sure it was really only a case of outright telling Tony, who apparently smiled and said it was “about fucking time you owned up.” As for the public, it turns out they don't really care, although Steve has been asked about it a couple of times he brushes it off as keeping his private life out of the news and moves on. He's still uneasy out on the street but it's not as though you'd be skipping down the pavement holding hands anyway, it's just outright displays of affection that are rare events. You much prefer his private displays of affection, anyway.

Weeks after being rid of the boot on your foot it still aches when you’ve been over active so eventually you have to listen to them and sit down for a while, letting Sam, Bucky, and Steve take care of the unpacking while you sort and fold clothes on your bed.  
“Hey,” Sam says from the doorway with another box of clothing. He sets it down on the floor and sits in the last space left on the huge bed. “How’s it going?”  
“That depends on how it’s going out there,” you say with a smile.  
“They’re arguing over where to put the coffee table, I’m staying out of it.”  
You roll your eyes and laugh.  
“You’re really good for them, you know. Steve has relaxed a lot since he moved back in with you,” he says. “And I was an ass, jumping to the wrong conclusion.  
“Thanks, Sam. You were protecting them, I get it.”  
“So um... I haven’t showed it to anyone but when I went down to the basement that day, the phone was still recording.”  
Your chest tightens and you have to fight to breathe. “Oh... you didn’t watch it, did you?”  
“I scanned through it in case there was something important in it. Do they know what you did?” He gestures out the door to Steve and Bucky.  
“No, none of us really wanted to talk about it. They asked if he... you know... and I said no.”  
“They need to see it, darlin’. Let them see what you did, skip over the rest if you want. You kicked ass and they’ll be so proud.”  
“They’re already proud of me, Sam. I did what I had to do, there’s no reason to hurt them by showing it to them, and while they’d probably be impressed with my escape the rest would just break their hearts.”  
“Ok,” he says simply. “But between us, you a badass motherfucker and I will never ever get on your bad side again.”  
“Would you do something for me? Delete it.”  
He nods and pats your knee as he stands up to leave.

When Steve and Bucky come to bed that night you’ve already been sleeping for hours, the moving and unpacking combining with pregnancy to take all of your energy away.  
“Sorry, baby doll. Did I wake you?” Bucky asks as you roll into his arms.  
“Yeah,” you murmur. “But it’s ok.” You take his hand and put it flat on the bottom of your bump. “Your daughter is having a party in there.”  
Steve reaches over from behind and gasps when she kicks his hand. “That is so cool.”  
Only a few weeks ago your scans confirmed that the baby is a girl and her heart is perfectly formed with no murmurs or sign of defects, and although you didn’t realise it was possible for the boys to be more excited than they were, it’s kicked up a level since.

You roll onto your back and they both pepper the sides of your belly with kisses, which quickly escalates into Bucky’s hand running up your thigh and Steve’s lips closing around your nipple. Not that you’d dream of complaining, your hormones now that you’re almost in the third trimester are out of control and both of them are using that to their full advantage. They take a few moments to explore your scarred skin with their hands and lean over you to kiss deeply before Bucky guides you onto your side and positions himself between your legs, nipping at the inside of your thigh with his teeth.

Steve follows suit, completing the triangle by licking at Bucky’s cock while you take Steve’s between your lips and suck.  
“Mmmm, that’s really good, baby,” Steve says.  
Bucky teases and coaxes your climax with his fingers, lips, and tongue, his moans at Steve’s lips around his cock reverberating in your swollen pussy. You rest your head on Steve’s thigh and stroke him with your hand as your breath comes hard and fast, and Bucky sucks your clit gently back and forth between his teeth until you scream and shake, your muscles gripping his fingers as an intense orgasm rips through you.

You're still recovering when Bucky pounces, kissing you hungrily until you taste your own juices on his tongue. He helps you over onto your knees and fills you from behind with a groan, thrusting slowly back and forth while your cunt spasms around him. Steve kisses Bucky and whispers in his ear and then Bucky leans over your back, kissing the back of your neck while Steve positions himself behind and lubricates his cock, rubbing it between Bucky's cheeks a few times before entering him.

Between the two of you Bucky moans and shudders in pleasure, and then they start to move together, Bucky grinding his cock deep inside you while Steve's tip rubs his prostate over and over. Being inside Bucky is one of his favourite positions, he loves the vulnerability and power of being buried in his tight asshole while Bucky spasms and grips him with his internal muscles. Bucky supports beneath you with his flesh arm while you reach down to rub the heel of your hand against your clit, your fingertips brushing his balls as they move against you, forced between your flesh by Steve's thrusts. Another orgasm builds deep in your core, ready to crash over your body and tip Bucky and Steve over the edge.

For a few moments you listen to their moans over your own heavy breath, Steve's encouragement to Bucky as he drives deeper and pushes Bucky to the brink. Your fingers press down on your clit and your walls clamp down on his cock, pulling him deeper as you contract around him and cry out your orgasm. Your spasms bring on Bucky's climax, milking his seed into you as Steve continues thrusting deep into him with sharp moans and finally spurts his warmth, falling forward onto Bucky who keeps their weight from crushing you as you lie down spent and shaking.

The three of you collapse and spread out on the oversized mattress, rapidly falling into an exhausted sleep where ever you lie, but somehow before morning you find your way back into each other's arms as always. The incessant kicking and rolling inside your belly wakes you early and you lie between the boys for a while listening to them both snore softly, remembering how lucky you are to have found them both, to have done so in this time rather than theirs where you can be accepted as a family.  
“Where are you going?” Steve grumbles when you climb over him.  
“I have to get ready for work,” you reply, tossing the covers back over him as he scoots over to Bucky.  
“You were going to talk to her,” Steve says, slapping Bucky's arm. “About work?”  
Bucky turns over and rubs his eyes, propping up on his elbows to look from you to Steve and back again. “I tried, she yelled at me. It's probably fine, lots of women work right up until the baby is born.”  
“Not in high stress jobs like this! She got kidnapped from there, have you forgotten?”  
“Hey!” you yell. “Standing right here! I can work for a bit longer, it's fine. I'm due to go on leave in four weeks.”  
“You're due to have our baby in six, babe,” Bucky says gently.  
You ball your hands into fists and it's all you can do not to stomp your feet. “This isn't the forties, I don't have to stop working to be a good mother any more than I have to give up working when I get married to be a good wife! I've cut back to part time and I'm handling it just fine, thanks.”  
You slam the bathroom door behind you and when you finish showering the boys have both gone to the gym downstairs so you leave them a note with their breakfast on the way out the door.

On the way there you begin second-guessing yourself, your hips ache and the swelling in your joints is making every movement uncomfortable. The pager never stops which means you don't get anywhere near enough breaks and you're on your feet most of the ten hours...  
But then you open an email from Amber. She's started over, left everything behind and has sent you pictures of her new apartment in Boston. Her partner is awaiting trial for assault and she looks happy and healthy, at the end of the email she thanks you for the twentieth time for helping her leave and find her self-confidence again. And that's why you do it.

It's only four weeks.

 


	14. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, byo tissues. Also this is the final chapter but there will be an epilogue in a few days xx

It starts as a niggle in the back of your mind and a dull cramp at the base of your spine. There's no dramatic bending over, clutching at your stomach and screaming, no Niagara Falls-style gush all over your shoes, you just don't feel right. Intuition, perhaps.   
“I'm probably wasting your time,” you tell Clay as he feels around your abdomen.   
“Not at all,” he reassures you. “Always best to over react than under react in these situations. Is she still moving around?”  
“Kicking up a storm as usual.”  
“Excellent. I can feel the tightening you're talking about,” he says as you draw a sharp breath, your lower back muscles seizing together painfully. “Could be nothing but I'd like to monitor you for an hour or so.”

You call and arrange someone to cover any emergencies from another department while a midwife fastens a monitor to your belly and drapes a warm blanket over you.  
“Oooh, that feels nice,” you say with a yawn.  
“Have a rest while you can,” she says. “We don't want you moving around, anyway.”  
Between the warm blanket, your serious lack of sleep the past few weeks, and the thrum of your baby's heartbeat from the monitor beside your bed you quickly find your eyes heavy and eventually give in to a nap.

When you open your eyes Clay has a hand on your arm and is shaking you gently.   
“You're in early labour, we're going to try to stop it.”  
“What if you can't?” Your chest constricts with panic.  
“Then you'll be having a baby today.” He smiles. “Try not to worry, we'll do everything we can to stop it but at 31 weeks her chances are pretty good. It's not ideal but we're prepared if that happens. Would you like us to call Bucky and Steve?”  
“I will, if that's ok.”  
You briefly recall watching Clay's face contort while he tried to hide his shock at your somewhat unconventional situation, sitting in his office with Bucky and Steve explaining how you weren't sure which was the father. He's been nothing but helpful and supportive, suggesting that there's no need to test for paternity and understanding your decision not to name a father on her birth records. Occasionally a midwife or sonographer has assumed that Steve is your brother and Bucky your partner or some other arrangement but you've learned sometimes it's simpler to just go with it than explain in too much detail.

The following hours are a blur of drips and injections, blood tests and concerned frowns as the monitor continues to print out the same curved pattern, slowly decreasing the troughs as time passes. When it's discovered that your waters are leaking the entire operation switches from halting your daughter's premature arrival to preparing for it. By late evening you're exhausted and the pain has been beyond what you'd previously have deemed unbearable for hours on end, so far you've politely declined any pain relief but you're barely keeping it together now.

Steve is blotting a cool facecloth on your forehead when he sees the tears begin to flow.   
“Hey, baby. You're in the best place for this, she's gonna be fine.”  
“This isn't how it was supposed to go, Steve. I was going to have a nice calm water birth and you and Bucky were going to deliver her.”  
“I know, sugar. You're almost there.”  
“She'll be sick, Steve. She won't cry, I won't be able to hold her. I don't want to do it any more.”  
You start to sob and they both see you're losing composure. Bucky sits on your other side and takes your hand in his.  
“You listen to me, doll. The doc thinks you're just about at the end, you just gotta hold on a bit longer and get her out, ok? And then they'll work their magic and she'll be fine. They're all ready for her with oxygen and stuff, the equipment will breathe for her until she can do it on her own. Right now she needs you to keep going and not panic, ok? We can all panic together later.”

The alarm sounds on the monitor, bringing Clay rushing back into the room.  
“What does that mean?” Steve asks.  
“Baby's heart rate is dropping with the contractions. We have to get her out, she's getting distressed.” He looks into your wide, fearful eyes and his expression turns from compassionate to business-like. “The quickest way would be a caesarian but it would be a bigger risk for baby at this point. I need to know you're ready to do this, she needs to be born in the next few minutes.”  
“You can do this, babe. You dragged yourself through broken glass, remember? Piece of cake.”  
You breathe heavily through a contraction and wipe the tears from your cheeks. “I'm ready.”  
“Good girl.”

At your insistence they allow you to move to a mat on the floor and you sit between Steve's outstretched legs, leaning back into him to take some of the pressure from your spine. If Bucky is reluctant to be positioned at the business end he doesn't show it, he holds one of your legs and rubs your thigh soothingly between contractions.   
“You got this, sweetheart,” Steve says as you grit your teeth and bear down, squeezing his arm until your fingernails break the skin.   
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly a few seconds later.   
“Reckon I can handle it,” he says, kissing your hair. “Do your worst.”

The calm quiet that falls over the room after that is completely at odds with the previous hours and your expectations. Everything slows down, voices are hushed, and the anxiety that coursed through your veins a few minutes earlier has turned to passive acceptance of the inevitable. Steve holds your sweat-soaked hair back, picking off the pieces that stick to your face, and kisses you gently between contractions while whispering encouragement as they wash over your body. Bucky smiles and watches in awe, although you worry that after seeing it from that angle your sex life might never be the same.   
“No more.” Your head falls back against Steve's shoulder, your entire body spent and shaking with exhaustion. “I can't.”  
“You can,” Steve says firmly. “And you will. Let's go.”  
The indescribable pain and force of an intense contraction leaves you no other choice, and this time when you collapse against Steve's chest the atmosphere has changed again.  
“Oh my god,” Bucky says. “You did it, doll. She's beautiful.” When you look up he's holding a tiny purple bundle, letting her rest calmly against your chest while Steve cuts the umbilical cord. Tears stream down his face as she squirms and wriggles against you and then lets out a piercing cry.

You're allowed less than a minute to hold her before she has to be whisked away to the intensive care unit in a clear crib with what look like port holes on the sides. You insist Bucky goes with her while Steve stays with you.   
“Congratulations,” Clay says when he's done checking you over. “You did great. I've just spoken to the doctor looking after her and he'll be down in a few minutes to see you. Does she have a name?”  
“We were thinking Hannah, did she look like a Hannah?” you say with a frown.  
“No,” Steve says quietly. “She already reminds me a bit of her mama and a bit of someone else I used to know.”  
“Peggy.”  
He nods.   
“I think Peggy suits her,” you say. “If you'd like to.”  
“Really? Are you sure?”  
“You might have to talk Bucky into it, but if you're gonna fight for your life you need a suitable namesake I think.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Over the coming days you expend all of your energy remaining stoic and positive for the boys while Peggy makes steady progress, although each night feels like you've made two steps forward and one back. On the fifth day it takes you a little longer to get ready to see her in the morning, and on the sixth when Steve comes to your room you're still in bed. That night, after two days on a mask, Peggy has to have the breathing tube put back in, and the following morning you insist Bucky and Steve head to the NICU and you'll follow a bit later.

Steve sees that you're falling apart and returns an hour later to find you in tears.  
“She's doing ok, babe. They think tomorrow morning they'll try taking the tube out again.”  
“I know. God, you must think I don't care.”  
“I don't think that at all. I think you're tired and overwhelmed and you just want to hold her. Touching her and holding her hand isn't enough any more, you want to hold her and feed her like the other moms.”  
“Yeah.” Fresh tears spill onto your cheeks. “I should have listened to you. When you said I should slow down, I should have listened.”  
“Hey.” He wraps his arms tight around you and pulls you into his chest. “You didn't do this. It would have happened either way.”  
“We don't know that.”  
“I do. I trust you to always do what's best for Peggy. And you will. You didn't do anything wrong, Clay said she was just determined to be born.”  
“Maybe.”  
“Take today off, ok? Bucky and I will stay with her and you can get some rest, you've hardly slept since before she was born.”  
You eventually agree but once he's gone you begin to have serious doubts about whether you were cut out for motherhood, and it stabs at your heart.

You're surprised to wake a couple of hours later to your mom sitting by the bed. She visited the day after Peggy was born but you told her to wait until you were home to come again since she wasn't allowed into the NICU and you spent most of your time there – it was a fight Clay took on personally to have the boys both admitted.   
“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”  
“I'm fine,” you say, pulling yourself up to sitting. “This is a nice surprise.”  
“I thought it might be.” She stands up to hug you and sit on the edge of your bed. “You have two amazing men in Steve and Bucky, they're really worried about you.”  
Tears immediately spring to your eyes and you bite your lip to stop it quivering. “I'm fine.”  
“Clearly you're not and you've said that twice in less than a minute. You did this to me, you know. Insisted on being born early and scared the living shit out of me.”   
“You never told me that.”  
“Because so many wonderful things happen after that, you never forget but sometimes it's just a painful memory you'd rather not relive. Like they say you forget the pain of childbirth in the rosy haze of having a newborn, the same can be said for a short stay in the NICU. I know she's not out of the woods and there might be further complications, but she's a tough one. Once you've been home a few days this will all feel like a bad dream.”  
“There are some mothers down there who've been here for months, mom. Some who don't go home. I'm pretty certain they'd disagree.”  
“I know, darling. But you have to be positive and believe she'll fight, because she needs her mama. These first few days are so emotional and you just feel like crying all the time, and usually you've got a baby to cuddle. The boys are working on something now that I think will help, and you're going to get dressed.”  
“Mom...”  
“Up. Shower. Get dressed and I'll take you out for coffee. The real stuff downstairs at the cafe.”  
You begrudgingly slide out of bed and take your time in the shower, washing your hair and letting the hot water ease the labour-induced ache in your muscles and joints.

When you emerge your mom is nowhere to be seen. You dress in a stretchy pair of leggings and a long knitted tunic, rubbing again at the jelly that has replaced the firm bump from a few days ago and wondering if you'll ever get used to the stillness.   
“She'll be kicking you from the outside before you know it,” mom says from the door, as though reading your thoughts.  
“Yeah.” You smile and she hands you some folded up note paper. “What's this?”  
“From Steve and Bucky. I'd save them for later I think.”  
You ignore her suggestion and sit down on the bed, opening up the pages to find one with each man's writing.

* * *

 

_Hey beautiful girl,  
Steve and I agreed to do this because neither of us are good with words and we know you're feeling really down right now, although I'm starting to think it was stupid idea. I'm no good with words on paper, either._

_Here we go._

_I'm sitting beside our perfect baby girl right now, watching her fight her little battle with that god forsaken breathing tube. She hates it, you know. If she weren't sedated she'd tear it out and yell at everyone just like her mother, because you know she gets this stubborn streak from you._

_And speaking of that stubborn streak, I would not change a single thing, not for the world. Not anything you did or the way you are, because it brought you to me and it brought us all together, and your unbreakable spirit is what brought her safely into the world. I love you so much, baby doll._

_I never really apologised for what I said that morning, before she made her entrance. We were both scared and worried, we'd never done this before and when you were kidnapped we were both so terrified we wouldn't get you back. You were right though, it was your decision to make. None of this was your fault, it was nothing you did, and like the doctors said it just happens sometimes. Who knows what would have happened if you'd been at home, she might not have got the steroids in time, you might not have gone in to the hospital until it was too late._

_You are already the most amazing mother, babe. I feel so awkward with all the tubes and machines but you're so calm and natural, reaching in there to hold her little hand. She knows mommy is there, I've watched her monitors and seen all the numbers stabilise when you touch her. I can't wait to bring her home and watch you feed and bath her in our apartment, put her to sleep in her little cradle beside our bed, sit in the rocking chair in the nursery._

_Not being able to hold her breaks my heart, I'm so grateful for those first few moments before they took her away. The day when she can come out for cuddles and I can hold her, play with her, can't come quickly enough. I'm even looking forward to her screaming. That day will come, I know it. She won't need all the medications and machines keeping her stable forever, one day this will all just be a story that demonstrates her strength right from the moment she was born. Right from the moment she was determined to be born, whether we were ready or not._

_Please, if all of this is just a rambling mess, remember this: there's no blame here, you can't blame yourself. The same thing would have happened even if you were at home, and if you hadn't been at work it might have been even worse. Your instinct was right._

_Little tiger is wriggling all around now, fighting the nurse trying to change her diaper. Steve was right about the name; I only got to meet Peggy Carter once but my god she was a firecracker in heels. No heels for this one until she's at least thirty, though. And no boyfriends. Or girlfriends. Please don't let her grow up too fast._

_So what I really wanted to say is that we love you, and we'll get through this. Before you know it we'll be planning her first birthday party and she'll be eating your favourite lipstick. You are the strongest woman I know but if you need to fall down right now that's ok, there are two of us to hold you up._

_I'll see you very soon, beautiful mama. With all my heart,_

_Your Bucky._

* * *

 

_My dearest Sugar,_

_Quite a week we've had, huh? I think our precious girl has been preparing us for this right from the beginning, when she was so determined to be brought to life before a baby was even on our horizon. Really we shouldn't have been at all surprised that her arrival would also be when we least expected it._

_I know you feel that you or your body failed her and I need you to understand that it is simply not true. You kept her safe and gave her the best chance you could, and let me tell you she inherited your indomitable spirit and courage. The nurses tell us every day what a little fighter she is, that her attitude is shining through. It feels impossible to think so far ahead but she is going to be one hell of a determined woman, just like her mother._

_And her namesake._

_I know we'd already decided on a name but she just doesn't feel at all like a Hannah. When she was born with that 'don't tell me I can't do that' attitude I just couldn't see her as anything but a Peggy, and I'm so glad you and Bucky agreed. I've said many times I wish you could have known her, I have a feeling this one will keep us on out toes just as much._

_You'll never know, because I'll never be able to put it into the right words, how proud I am of you for all you've been through. You were so petrified when they said she'd be born early, that she was tiny but there was no way to stop it, but you put that fear aside and pushed through. Watching and helping you bring our baby girl into the world was the single most beautiful moment of my life, and you were nothing short of amazing._

_What you're feeling is temporary, it's having to leave our tiny little Peggy in the care of others and having to care for yourself, too. It's not being able to kiss or cuddle her, even when she's upset and needs to know her mama is there. It's the fear that the machines are causing her pain, that she won't ever be able to breathe or live without them. It's touching your belly and realising she should still be in there, not feeling her kick from the inside anymore._

_But she's here, now. She has a team of nurses and doctors as well as her mommy and daddies and she's going to have a wonderful life, this is just a little speedbump. She'll be beautiful and smart just like you, wait and see._

_If it weren't for you encouraging me to be honest, not just with the rest of the world but with myself, I'd still be anxiously trying to hide what we have. Right from the beginning you saw me, you always saw through to what was in my heart. You knew how I felt about Bucky and about you before I knew it myself and you always seem to know exactly what I need to hear rather than what I want to and I love that about you._

_I love you more than I can put into words, baby. You're already a gorgeous mama and you don't ever need to doubt yourself._

_Lots of love, my sweetheart._

_Xx Steve_

* * *

Reading their words tears at your heart and the tears are still flowing unhindered down your cheeks as you farewell your mom and make your way to NICU, desperate to see Peggy and your boys. When you arrive you spot them immediately, Steve's head is resting on Bucky's shoulder and their arms are around each other's waists as they look anxiously at Peggy's humidicrib. A doctor and two nurses are working on her, adjusting a mask over her mouth and nose and listening to her chest with a stethoscope.

You're struck by something you can't explain, beyond reason or anything you've experienced before.  
“Let me hold her,” you say to the doctor.   
He considers a moment and then nods, gesturing you into the chair beside the crib while they ease her tiny naked body gently out and the other nurse holds the tubes and wires. On instinct you unbutton your shirt and lay her against your chest, wrapping a blanket over both of you to keep her warm.

She immediately stills and relaxes against you, allowing the mask to be adjusted properly.   
“Look,” you hear Steve say to Bucky behind you, pointing at the monitor.   
Peggy's oxygen has risen and everything is back in green figures, indicating that they're within normal range. You look back to see Steve and Bucky holding each other tight while they both sniff and their shoulders shake with what you hope are tears of relief.

From then on her progress is steady and finally after a few weeks she's allowed to go home. The day she was born you all agreed she'd never be alone in the NICU so at least one of you has been away from home around the clock, usually two of you at once in overlapping shifts. By far you've been there the most, primarily because you were determined for her to only be fed breast milk if you could help it. She comes home to the most eccentric and dedicated group of godparents a little girl could have.

You barely sleep the first night even though the cradle is right beside the bed and Tony has developed a biometric monitor to alert you if anything goes wrong, checking on her every few minutes to be sure she's not too hot or cold and that her breathing is steady after all the respiratory issues she had in the first two weeks. The second night isn't much better, but you still feel more rested than you ever did having her in the hospital. You begin to wonder when your relationship might get back to what it was, though. You were given a clean bill of health the same day Peggy came home but fitting in some intimate time with either of the boys has proven impossible so far, let alone both at once.

The sun is just peeking above the horizon when you lay Peggy back into the cradle – sound asleep after a long feed – and admire Steve and Bucky all cuddled up warm in bed. As usual neither have bothered with pajamas and their combined body heat has negated the need for blankets, and you feel a familiar warm tingle deep in your belly when you see their entwined bodies. You slip out of your pants and into the bed beside Bucky in only an oversized tank top, snuggling into his other side and kissing his neck.

Bucky stirs and groans softly, arching his neck to give you easier access to kiss the stubble below his jaw and run your tongue down to his shoulder.   
“Good mornin', doll,” he says in his gravelly sleepy voice. He trails his fingers up and down your spine and leans down to kiss your lips, drawing a sharp breath when you graze your hand over his nipple.  
You deepen the kiss and he releases Steve gently onto the pillow, rolling on top of you and caging you in with his arms. His lips and tongue migrate downward over your neck and shoulders to your chest, his hand lifting your top so he can suck a nipple into his mouth. You know he's wanted to do that for a while, you spent so much time expressing at the hospital that you now have enough milk for two or three babies, and the breasts to prove it.

“Your tits are magnificent,” he says, leaning back a moment to admire them.   
“Thanks,” you say with a soft chuckle.   
Bucky's hands move slowly down but he stops at your stomach when you flinch.  
“Did I hurt you or something?”  
“No.”  
“You're not worried about your belly, are you?”  
You didn't exactly have washboard abs before, but now you have a definite pot belly, complete with muscle separation and stretch marks on either side. It's not that you expect the boys to say anything, you just don't want to ruin the mood.  
“No, I'll work on it as soon as the physio says it's strong enough.”  
“Doll,” he admonishes you and tugs your shirt up and off over your head, holding the covers down with his body weight so you can't cover yourself. “Don't be anything but proud of this. It's beautiful.”  
“It's fat.”  
He peppers it with kisses and you hide a grimace when you feel it soft and jiggling under his touch. “It's the home that grew our baby. If anything you are even more stunning now than before.”  
You find that hard to believe, with the extra pounds and red streaks, but you smile and nod.  
Bucky stalks back up the bed and presses the head of his cock against your sex until you cry out. “Feel that? All for you. If it wasn't beautiful then little Bucky woulda gone back to sleep.”  
You giggle and kiss him as he rubs himself against you, his cock picking up more moisture with every stroke until you're whimpering into his mouth.

Steve turns over, still blinking the sleep from his eyes as he kisses your shoulder and runs light fingers down Bucky's spine. Bucky leans back on his knees and spreads your juices with his fingers before pressing his cock against your labia.   
“Please, baby,” you beg.   
As he eases into your tightness Steve catches your lips in a slow kiss, his gentle hands roaming your body while his tongue glides past your lips. Bucky fills you inch by inch and you stretch around his thick cock, he stills while you accommodate him and then moves agonisingly slow back and forth, his hands lifting your hips up to meet him. You reach down to stroke Steve's shaft, finding it hard and leaking precum onto your fingers, making him moan into your kiss and thrust against your hand.

“Steve,” you breathe as Bucky maintains his painfully languid pace. “I want you... in my mouth.”  
He groans and obliges, swiping the tip over your lips until you guide him in with your hand and suck him in time with Bucky's thrusts. You feel his weight shift and then he and Bucky are kissing above you, Steve's hand woven into Bucky's hair. His other hand reaches down to flutter against your clit and your moans grow louder, muffled by Steve's cock as you work him with your mouth and hand.

The smack of their lips breaking apart is quickly followed by Bucky gasping for breath and Steve rubs harder on your clit, his salty precum coating your tongue as he throbs in your mouth. The familiar tightening in your core makes your hips rut against Bucky's, urging him faster until he tips you over the edge into an intense orgasm. He draws it out with long thrusts and then holds you still and slams inside with a series of primal moans and grunts until he fills you with thick cum, laying forward onto your chest to catch his breath.

Steve takes over with his hand and then you see Bucky raise his head to suck the tip, letting Steve fuck his mouth until the head of his shaft hits Bucky's throat. His hand strokes Steve's sack eagerly, encouraging his release, and with a breathless sigh he shoots into Bucky's throat, collapsing down beside you so you're crushed between them both panting and gasping for breath, kissing you and each other as you bask in the afterglow you've been missing.

When Peggy stirs again an hour later you're all sleeping soundly but Bucky insists it's Steve's turn to get up.  
“Whoever had the most recent orgasm. It's only fair,” he grumbles into the pillow.   
Steve tosses his pillow over Bucky's face before he stands and pulls on pants, lifting Peggy from the cradle to hold her against his chest. She looks so small in his large hands, one holding her back and head with the other beneath her bottom. She cuddles in immediately, recognising the scent of Steve's skin and relaxing in her daddy's arms.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You're sitting up in bed feeding Peggy in the early hours of the next morning when Steve first brings up the godparents discussion again.  
“Should we make it official? Have her Baptised or something?”  
“I'm not sure the church actually allows that many godparents, Steve,” Bucky says. “And I reckon they'd have to be a little more religious than this lot.”  
“Is that what you want? Have her properly Baptised in a church?” you ask.   
“In a church that doesn't recognise us? Doesn't allow us to stand up there as a family? How do we tell the priest who the father is when we don't know?” Steve says with a genuine laugh. “None of that occurred to me before, but I guess no, I don't.”  
“We should file the adoption paperwork, though,” Bucky says. “I don't want to think about it, but if anything happens... we have no rights whatsoever until it's done.”  
Steve leans over and strokes Peggy's soft dark hair as she suckles herself back to sleep. “Do you want to get married?” He looks from you to Bucky and back again.  
“I dunno, can I put my boobs away first?” you quip back.  
“I'm serious.”  
“Stevie, remember what we just said about the church and the priest? Even a civil ceremony doesn't really have the option for two grooms _and_ a bride.”  
“I didn't say it had to be legal, or even official. I kind of always wanted a ring on that finger, though.”  
“I'll buy you one,” you say, leaning in to kiss him. “We can do rings if you want, have a bit of a party.”  
“Combine it with our unofficial 'congratulations you're all godparents' announcement,” Bucky says.   
“Yeah... I do. I want that, a wedding of some description. I want to tell the world you're mine.” Steve kisses your knuckles and then Bucky's lips.  
You set Peggy down gently in the cradle and cuddle up beneath the covers.   
“Will you marry me? Both of you? And... each other, I guess?”  
“Absolutely,” Bucky says. “In our own unholy version of matrimony.”  
“For better or worse,” you say.  
“For richer or porrer,” Steve continues.   
“In sickness and health, super-soldier and regular human.”  
“To love and to cherish,” you add. “But not obey, that's not my thing.”  
Steve laughs. “Til death do us part, long term freezing notwithstanding, be it by ice burial or cryo chamber, or some otherwordly method we don't know about yet.”  
“I pledge myself to you both.” Bucky strokes your cheek.  
“As long as we all shall live.”

 


	15. Epilogue

Soft lights twinkle from the ceiling, the mostly-empty tables illuminated by candles. A throng of couples sway on the dance floor in front of a swing band while you share a piece of wedding cake with your daughter and attempt to keep her ivory flower girl's dress from being smeared with chocolate fudge. The heady scent of summer flowers wafts in on the warm breeze and for a moment your gaze is drawn away from Peggy to Steve and Bucky in a tight embrace, Steve's head resting content on Bucky's shoulder as they move together to _Dream a little dream of me_. Their matching suits from earlier have been slowly removed as the warm day wore on, now they both have their sleeves rolled up to the elbows and Bucky has removed his waistoat and tie.   
Perfection.  
Sipping from your sparkling apple juice you hold another spoon of cake for Peggy and she giggles when some of it colours her chin.  
“Mommy!”  
“Sorry baby,” you say with a smile as you wipe it with a napkin. “Did you have fun today?”  
“Yes. I threw the flowers!”  
“You did a great job, miss Peggy,” Tony says from behind you. “The best flower girl ever.”  
“Uncle Tony!” She slides off the chair to run over and be swept into his arms.   
“How's the cake?”  
“Yummy,” she says with a cheeky grin, laying her head on Tony's shoulder and yawning.  
“Someone is just about partied out I think,” you say. Pepper appears behind Tony in a dress of the same fabric as Peggy's, a glass of champagne in her hand as she kicks off her shoes. “And it's not the bride.”  
You stand and hug her. “Congratulations, Mrs Stark.”  
“Thank you, it's been such an incredible day.”  
“I think Peggy needs to say goodnight,” you say to Tony. “Baby, did you have something to tell uncle Tony and aunty Pepper?”  
“I'm gonna be a biiiiiig sister!”   
They both look at you stunned while you try to hide the heat in your cheeks. “No, sweetheart. The other thing.”  
“Oh. Con-grab... congrabalayshoo?”  
“Close enough,” Tony says with a laugh. “Thank you, world's best flower girl. How about we go find your daddies so you can say goodnight.”  
As soon as they're out of earshot Pepper puts an arm around your shoulders. “So about that other thing...”  
“Yeah, I taught her that so she could tell her grandma. Oops.”  
“You all must be so excited. The boys just dote on Peggy. Everyone does.”  
“I never imagined that we'd actually have a small village raising her, that we'd end up living in the tower. She wants to be Nat when she grows up.”  
Bucky and Steve approach, their hands clutched together while Bucky carries a half-asleep Peggy against his shoulder with his metal arm supporting her bottom.   
“I hear congratulations are in order,” Pepper says to them with a grin.   
The boys both widen their eyes at you. “Don't look at me, it was Peggy that spilled the beans. Apparently I spent too much time teaching her to say big sister.”  
“We weren't planning on telling everyone until after your honeymoon, but yeah,” Steve says with a hand behind his neck. “Thanks.”  
“Hand her over, daddy. I'll put her to bed.” You reach out to take Peggy but Steve intercepts you.   
“No, you two haven't had any time together in weeks. I'll take her.”   
Peggy cuddles into his neck and closes her eyes as Bucky leans in and kisses Steve's lips. “You sure?”  
“Yep. Go do something romantic before she vomits on you again.”  
“That was one time!” you hiss.

The feeling of love in the air reminds you that the last wedding celebration you attended was your own just over a year ago, the day Peggy had been on the outside for six months. The symbolic ceremony was intimate and simple, combined with a naming ceremony for Peggy where you announced to the world that you were now officially a family of Barnes-Rogers'. From a legal perspective the certificate that now decorates your foyer alongside a portrait of the three of you in your wedding attire doesn't mean anything but for the three of you it's the validation of your unconventional arrangement.

It was Peggy's first birthday when Steve first brought up the idea of having more children. You were so emotional recalling her birth and the first weeks in hospital that you shut down the idea immediately despite both of them reminding you that she's had no long term effects. A couple of months later Bucky had taken Peggy for a walk in the afternoon when she was teething and wouldn't sleep and came back with her in a carrier on his front, sleeping soundly and drooling all over his chest.   
“I think I broke her,” he said with a proud smile, stroking her rosy cheek with a gentle finger.  
“Where did you get that?” you asked, admiring the baby carrier. You had your own but it was maroon in colour and neither of the boys could use it because their shoulders were so broad the straps wouldn't reach. This one was dark grey with a white star over the middle of Peggy's back and reinforced straps that resembled a parachute.  
“Tony,” he said. “He's been working on it for a couple of weeks.”  
He still uses it now when her legs are tired and he needs his hands free. One of Peggy's favourite places to nap is on the back of Bucky's neck with her little chubby fingers threaded into his ponytail. That was the planting of the seed in your mind that maybe you'd be willing to discuss another child.

Then there was the time a few days later where you overheard Steve reading _Even Superheroes Have Bad Days_ at bedtime, or when you found him dancing his heart out to the Wiggles just to make her smile. Before falling pregnant you hadn't given more than a passing thought to having children, especially with Steve and Bucky. You dismissed it when you moved in with Bucky because he was away so much and never expressed any interest in the idea, and Steve just never brought it up. Somehow without noticing they'd both become more than fathers, they were her daddies, her heroes, her protectors, and much more they were family men who only missed bedtime if they were away on a mission and physical distance prevented it. Sure there were days when they were working or in the middle of something and they'd be home just long enough to kiss Peggy goodnight and get back to it, but their priorities had changed.

The day you knew you were ready for another baby started out like any other – you woke in that blissful position, sandwiched between them with limbs and hands and feet all over the place, with your face in the crook of Steve's neck and Bucky's lips on your shoulder. In the next room Peggy was awake in her cot and happily babbling away to one of her toys and then while you and Bucky prepared breakfast she showered with daddy Steve and bumbled into the kitchen all warm and wet and wrapped in a fluffy white towel, cuddling into your neck and planting a wet kiss on your cheek. You spent the day out and about as a family, no one hiding their affections or worrying about people staring, just a regular outing that ended with Peggy chasing the ducks and nodding off in the pram on the way home. That night she fell asleep in Bucky's arms in the rocking chair and he proudly declared that was his favourite time of the day, and the experts who said you shouldn't cuddle your child to sleep could go to hell. Something changed that day, you felt the tug on your maternal programming like never before, a deep-rooted need to bear another child and feel the joy of its growth and movement in your womb, a sudden understanding of why women sometimes go to extraordinary lengths to conceive their own child.   
“We should have another baby,” you blurted out over dinner.

You intended to do things properly this time, getting checked over and stopping birth control before trying to conceive. Once you had the all clear and your cycle was back to regular the boys had only one request – they didn't want to know who was biologically the father. For the next four months – although you tried to explain there was only a week out of every month you could actually fall pregnant, it was a lost cause once the boys were in baby-making mode – not a drop of semen was wasted. As the parents of a child who didn't yet sleep through the nights of sensual and passionate three-way lovemaking were on hold for now but that just meant you had to be more creative. Sometimes one or the other would sneak up to your apartment during Peggy's afternoon nap, sometimes they'd both take the afternoon off to spend it in bed together.

After falling pregnant accidentally the first time you expected the second to happen in the first month without protection so you were disappointed it took a few months, but there was an unexpected shift in the sex between you that made it easier. You felt revered and cared for, as though the 'so much love we made a whole new person' explanation you were given for conception as a child was actually part of the process and they were both being sure there was enough love in the mix to make the magic happen. On every occasion your body was worshipped and caressed with deliberate care, orgasms drawn out with whimpers and prolonged with gentle touches, moans dampened by deep kisses. There were long sighs and whispered endearments as you were flooded with the warmth of seed, the slow kisses and soothing hands in the bliss of afterglow as you lay naked together. That intimacy was something you vowed never to lose, promising a conscious effort to continue it after you'd conceived another child.

Now as Bucky leads you around the dance floor your fingers smooth over the stiff lapel of his white shirt. It's so easy to fall back into the pattern of quick sex when you can get it, not that there's anything wrong with the sweaty tangled mess of bodies racing to orgasm to the symphony of slapped flesh, bitten back screams, and hissed expletives. The commitment you made to appreciate each other and make love slowly like you're exploring for the first time was a worthwhile undertaking with benefits for all of you but you realise now you're only twelve weeks in and already you can't remember when you last made time to be together.

“You look so beautiful tonight, doll,” Bucky says, wrapping one of your hands in his and tucking a lock of hair back from your face. “How are you feeling?”  
“I feel good today. Ginger ale and sparkling apple juice seem to be the trick.”  
He rests his forehead on yours. “God you make me so happy. I really do fall in love with you more every day, Mrs Barnes-Rogers.”  
“Me too, Bucky. I love you.”

When your feet can't handle any more dancing you slip quietly away to explore the gardens of the property Tony and Pepper rented for the weekend. The wedding was held at one end, and if you walk further from the mansion the soothing sound of the ocean grows louder until you reach the short hedge that marks the boundary between private property and public beach. In an area shrouded by trees and shrubs and surrounded by fragrant lilacs Bucky kisses you thoroughly and lays you carefully on the cool soft grass, peeling away your clothing until you're unwrapped and naked beneath him. As he makes love to you under the stars you feel every sensation heightened, your skin set alight with every touch, and you come undone to the gentle rhythm of waves crashing on the shore, the soft rustle of leaves in the sea breeze.

He caresses the small bump that already protrudes from your abdomen and you lie in his arms until your eyes grow heavy when he helps you dress and leads you back to the house and in to bed beside an already sleeping Steve, checking on Peggy before joining you in the king sized bed. In the morning he takes Peggy out to the garden as soon as she wakes, leaving Steve to wake up with you and enjoy some intimate time alone while everyone else eats breakfast together in the morning sun. You're both greeted with a stream of congratulations because no one here can keep good news to themselves, and soon there's talk of names and betting on genders over coffee. Without hesitation Steve kisses Bucky good morning while you break up a pancake for Peggy and you wonder what on earth you did to deserve these amazing men and their extended family of heroes.

The end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not thank you guys enough for your comments and kudos and making this such a huge success. For something that was intended to be just a one shot to grow in to so much more is all thanks to your encouraging words. *MWAH*


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